An important strategy is to only collaborate with reliable people and stay away from those who are not, as this can save a lot of time and energy. Do not try to "make others reliable," as this is almost impossible.
If we view life through an investment mindset:
- Creativity is the most important asset;
- Time is the core resource;
- Social relationships are the most powerful leverage;
- Health issues are the biggest risk exposure.
Therefore, we need to build an investment strategy like this:
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Continuously invest in assets to generate a steady cash flow in the future;
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Strictly monitor resources, measuring the input-output ratio weekly.
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Pay attention to the correlation between gains and losses in leverage, and build a high-quality interpersonal network.
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Firmly uphold the bottom line in risk management, staying away from anything that harms your physical and mental health.
Learning also holds significant meaning for me personally, as during the learning process, you may discover what you truly like and excel at. Before the college entrance examination, very few people can truly view this issue correctly; instead, in college, with a broader perspective and breathing space, one can truly think and explore.
The universal skills that must be learned are: knowing when you need to update, how to update, and ensuring that you can indeed update successfully.
To implement in life, you can thoughtfully consider the answers to these 20 questions:
① Who knows the correct answer but has been overlooked by me due to poor communication skills?
② If I were born in another country or era, which of my current views would I disagree with?
③ What things do I believe to be true simply because I desperately want them to be true, even though they are clearly false?
④ What issues do I think only happen in other countries, industries, or professions, but ultimately impact me?
⑤ What things do I take for granted as true, but are actually just products of clever marketing?
⑥ What things do I blindly trust because I have not personally experienced them?
⑦ What things seem unsustainable but are actually new trends that we have yet to accept?
⑧ Who do I think is very understanding, but is actually just spouting nonsense?
⑨ Am I prepared to face risks that I cannot foresee?
⑩ If the incentives change, which of my current views would also change?
⑪ What things are we currently overlooking that will seem extremely obvious in the future?
⑫ What events, which are just a step away from happening, will completely change the world as I know it once they occur?
⑬ How much of my achievements are contributions from things I cannot control?
⑭ How can I know if I am patient (a virtue) or stubborn (a flaw)?
⑮ What admirable people actually have tragic and unknown sides?
⑯ What troubles I want to avoid are actually the necessary costs of success?
⑰ What so-called genius role models I admire are actually just crazy?
⑱ What strong beliefs I hold are most likely to change?
⑲ What things are eternally true?
⑳ What things remain unchanged?
Thus, slowly becoming wealthy is the great wisdom of life, for only it can bring inner peace. Everything else is external; only the inner self belongs to oneself.
- Understanding the background of the problem
To grasp the essence of a problem, one must first understand its background. Understanding the background of a problem can help us better comprehend its development and find its source.
When encountering a problem, we need to understand its background from various aspects. First, we need to know the time, place, people, and reasons for the problem. Second, we need to understand the impact and consequences of the problem, as well as its importance and influence on work.
Understanding the background of the problem can help us gain a more comprehensive understanding of the situation and accurately identify the essence of the problem.
- Analyzing the surface of the problem
After understanding the background of the problem, we need to further analyze its surface. The surface of the problem refers to its superficial phenomena, which are the visible aspects of the problem. Analyzing the surface of the problem can help us gain a clearer understanding of the situation and identify the patterns and characteristics of the problem.
When encountering a problem, we need to analyze its surface. First, we need to understand the phenomena, manifestations, and characteristics of the problem. Second, we need to analyze the frequency of occurrence, scope of influence, and degree of impact of the problem. This way, we can gain a clearer understanding of the situation and better identify the essence of the problem.
- Finding the root cause of the problem
After understanding the background and analyzing the surface of the problem, we need to find its root cause. The root cause of the problem refers to the deep-seated reasons that lead to its emergence. Only by identifying the root cause can we better solve the problem.
When encountering a problem, we need to find its root cause. First, we need to ask ourselves what caused this problem and why it occurred. Second, we need to analyze the influencing factors of the problem and identify the deep-seated reasons that led to its emergence.
Finding the root cause of the problem can help us better solve it and grasp its essence.
- Methods for solving problems
After identifying the root cause of the problem, we need to adopt appropriate methods to solve it. The methods for solving problems need to comprehensively consider the characteristics, root causes, and actual situations of the problem to find the optimal solution.
The methods for solving problems can be divided into the following steps:
Formulating goals and plans for solving the problem
After identifying the root cause, we need to formulate goals and plans for solving the problem. The goal of solving the problem refers to the result we want to achieve; the plan for solving the problem refers to the specific measures we will take.
Formulating goals and plans for solving the problem requires considering the nature, scale, and impact of the problem, while also taking into account the actual situation to ensure the feasibility and practicality of the plan.
Implementing the solution
After formulating the goals and plans for solving the problem, we need to start implementing the plan. Implementation requires following the steps to ensure that each link is effectively carried out.
Implementation needs to consider limitations in time, personnel, and resources, while also paying attention to the connections and coordination between various links to ensure the smooth progress of the entire implementation process.
Monitoring and evaluating the effectiveness of the solution
After implementing the solution, we need to monitor and evaluate to ensure the achievement of the desired effect. Monitoring and evaluation should be conducted from multiple aspects, including implementation progress, effectiveness assessment, and cost control.
The results of monitoring and evaluation can help us better understand the effectiveness of the solution, allowing for adjustments and improvements to ensure optimal resolution of the problem.
- Summary and reflection
After solving the problem, we need to summarize and reflect on the entire process to better accumulate experience and lessons for future work.
Summarizing and reflecting should consider the effectiveness of the solution, the feasibility and practicality of the plan, as well as the shortcomings and lessons learned throughout the process. It is also important to summarize experiences to better cope with similar issues in the future.
The classic statements from Epictetus's "The Enchiridion" are worth reading whenever you have the time, as they can truly help you become more peaceful and positive.
Control
To achieve happiness and freedom, one must understand this principle: some things we can control, while others we cannot. Only by facing this basic principle and learning to distinguish what you can control from what you cannot can you attain inner peace and outer efficiency.
Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions. #enchiridion 1
Freedom
What harms us is not the events themselves, but our perceptions of those events. The events themselves do not harm or hinder us, nor do others. What truly makes us fearful and panicked is not the external events themselves, but the way we think about them. What unsettles us is not the things themselves, but our interpretations of their meanings.
The world does not exist to meet our expectations. Things happen as they should, and people act as they will.
Freedom is not the right or ability to do whatever one wants. Freedom comes from understanding the limits of one's own power and the natural limits set by the universe. By accepting the limits and inevitability of life, rather than fighting against them, we can attain freedom.
Remember, that not he who gives ill language or a blow insults, but the principle which represents these things as insulting. When, therefore, anyone provokes you, be assured that it is your own opinion which provokes you. #enchiridion 20
If you ever happen to turn your attention to externals, so as to wish to please anyone, be assured that you have ruined your scheme of life. #enchiridion 23
Understanding Stoicism - Selected Quotes
Gains and Losses
Take good care of what you currently possess. We do not truly lose anything, nor does anything get lost. When we stop saying "I lost it" and instead say "it has returned to its original place," we gain inner peace. Is your child no longer with you? He has simply returned to where he was before coming into this world. Did your partner pass away? He (or she) has merely returned to their original place. Has your property been taken away? It has returned to where it came from.
Do not care about how others perceive you. They are often deceived and blinded by appearances. Stick to your goals. Just this alone can strengthen your will and make your life coherent.
While he gives it to you to possess, take care of it; but don't view it as your own, just as travelers view a hotel. #enchiridion 11
**Consider when, on a voyage, your ship is anchored; if you go on shore to get water you may along the way amuse yourself with picking up a shell or an onion. However, your thoughts and continual attention ought to be bent towards the ship, waiting for the captain to call on board; you must then immediately leave all these things, otherwise you will be thrown into the ship, bound neck and feet like a sheep. So it is with life. #enchiridion 7
Nature
The will of nature is revealed through the common daily experiences of all people. For example, when a neighbor's child breaks a bowl or other similar items, we easily say, "This happened." Therefore, when your bowl is broken, you should respond in the same way as when someone else's bowl is broken. Extend this understanding to those more significant worldly matters that concern us deeply.
Life is not a series of random and meaningless events, but an orderly and beautiful whole that follows ultimately understandable laws.
Don't demand that things happen as you wish, but wish that they happen as they do happen, and you will go on well. #enchiridion 8
Habits
Every habit and ability is maintained and strengthened through corresponding actions: the habit of walking makes us better walkers, and frequent running makes us better runners.
Be clear about what kinds of thoughts or ideas you allow into your mind. If you do not choose what to accept, others will choose for you, and their motives may not be noble.
Detachment
View life as if attending a banquet, where your behavior should be elegant and appropriate. When a dish is passed to you, you may reach out for a portion, but take only what is appropriate; if the dish merely passes by you, enjoy the food already on your plate; if the dish has not yet reached you, you should patiently wait.
Do not compare yourself to others, nor to your ideal self. Human perfection is gradual and requires a process of taking two steps forward and one step back.
Look at those children who reach into narrow-necked bottles, trying with all their might to pull out the nuts and figs inside. If they grasp a full handful, they cannot withdraw their hand, which makes them cry. "Don't take so much, and you can pull your hand out." You too should let go of your desires; do not covet so many things, and you will gain.
Remember that you must behave in life as at a dinner party. Is anything brought around to you? Put out your hand and take your share with moderation. Does it pass by you? Don't stop it. Is it not yet come? Don't stretch your desire towards it, but wait till it reaches you. #enchiridion 15
Reason
Clear thinking is not an art that requires one to be cold and unfeeling. The task of reason is to critically examine our assumptions, including the explanations we provide and the methods by which we arrive at those explanations. Reason is not an end, but an indispensable means. Questioning is the driving force of reason, so you need to learn how to ask questions rationally rather than emotionally. If the ability to think clearly is impaired, then living a moral life will become chaotic. Reason can distinguish truth from falsehood and can discern the levels of truth.
The hallmark of good reasoning is clarity, consistency, rigor, precise definitions, and lack of ambiguity.
When walking, you are careful not to step on a nail or turn your foot; so likewise be careful not to hurt the ruling faculty of your mind. #enchiridion 38
Original Intention
The wisest among us understand the natural limits of our knowledge and have the courage to maintain their childlike nature.
The first step toward wisdom is the hardest, as our fragile and stubborn hearts fear exhaustion (not to mention the uncertainty of reward) and the unfamiliar. As you make progress through effort, your determination will strengthen, and self-improvement will gradually become easier.
Personal value does not originate externally. It cannot be found in your interactions with others or in their opinions. Others, even those who love you, may not necessarily share your views, understand you, or share your passions. Grow up a little! Who cares what others think of you! You have your own work to do. Start doing it now and do your best, regardless of who is watching.
According to divine arrangement, each of us has our own calling. Listen to the call of the divine and faithfully follow it. Be realistic about yourself. Clearly assess your strengths and weaknesses.
Meaning
We must accept education, not to change the composition of things, but so that after seeing the true nature and essence of the things around us, we can align our will with what happens. Because we have not been granted the ability to change the structure of things, and things will not become better because of it.
For outside the realm of will, nothing can obstruct or harm a person's will. If he seeks his "good" only within the limits of what he can control and unobstructed, he will attain freedom, peace, happiness, tranquility, nobility, and piety, and he will be grateful to God for all achievements, without nitpicking anything.
You are no longer a boy, but a grown man. If, therefore, you will be negligent and slothful, and always add procrastination to procrastination, purpose to purpose, and fix day after day in which you will attend to yourself, you will insensibly continue without proficiency, and, living and dying, persevere in being one of the vulgar. This instant, then, think yourself worthy of living as a grown man, and a proficient. Let whatever appears to be the best be to you an inviolable law. And if any instance of pain or pleasure, or glory or disgrace, is set before you, remember that now is the combat, now the Olympiad comes on, nor can it be put off. #enchiridion 50
Self-Cultivation
Ordinary parents, even without extensive academic backgrounds and professional observational training, can help us transcend parenting books and experts through random but continuous observation, independently and confidently solving most parenting challenges.
Every child has a unique growth secret; respecting the child's developmental pace is more important than feeling anxious if they are slower than others or giving excessive praise if they are faster.
Each year, write a letter to your child to record the changes and constants in your parenting philosophy. I believe this is the best gift for him.
Spend time with your child, but also give time to cultivate yourself; by going to bed earlier with your child, you can wake up earlier to study and write.
Create an email account for your child, preferably a Gmail account, and write him at least one letter each year, naming it the "Time Flies" series; I have already written up to 04.
All parents hope their children will improve; the extreme cases are called "tiger parents." In fact, tiger parenting is just an anxious action stemming from the unknown, wanting to do everything possible because they know nothing about their child's future. The solution is to first acknowledge that you are a tiger parent, and then alleviate your anxiety through self-learning.
What parents understand as the best is not necessarily what children need; the best for children is what is most suitable for their current stage, just like a two-year-old child does not want money, only seaweed. What children need most is cognitive satisfaction that is just within their growth range, which requires continuous observation and companionship from parents to know.
Parents cannot always provide the best for their children; they can only teach them how to strive for what they want.
A child's growth is about learning to trust parents in different ways.
A hallmark of good family education is that children do not view fame or wealth as life goals.
Learning is the child's responsibility, not the parents' or teachers'. I will wake the child up, but I will not carry the child's backpack. Tell the child that studying is your responsibility, and carrying the backpack is also your responsibility. Similarly, packing the backpack is your responsibility, doing homework is your responsibility, and being late for school is also your responsibility.
Educating others is also educating oneself; whether you can practice what you preach gives the child a role model. If I can do it, I demonstrate it to the child, and I believe the child can do it too. The child is a projection of yourself; how you are is likely how the child will be. Do not force the child to do what you cannot do yourself.
Do not emphasize or agree with the metaphor "the sea of learning is endless, and hard work is the boat," as this metaphor will lead children to accept the fate of "learning is hard, but you have no escape." Find ways to help children enjoy the joy of learning.
Subtly encourage children to strive in certain directions, but never punish them for not excelling in a particular field.
Tell children they do not need to please their parents; children will ask their parents, "Did I perform well today?" You can say, "You did well, but you are not good just to make mom and dad happy; you want to become a better version of yourself."
It is more important to cultivate children's foundational and long-term abilities. In a child's life, these three skills are the most important: cognitive ability, technical ability, and interpersonal ability. Cognitive ability relates to concepts, such as reading and writing (judgment and choice ability), and acquiring knowledge to satisfy curiosity; technical ability relates to things, such as mathematics and programming (calculation and analysis ability), learning the joy of solving problems and creating products; communication ability relates to people, communication (expressive ability, the core is storytelling), participating in social organizations and collaborative operations.
The three most important abilities for parents are: the ability to prioritize the importance of tasks; the ability to not fear making mistakes but to avoid repeating them; and the ability to communicate and empathize.
Reading poetry, writing poetry, practicing calligraphy, reading Jin Yong novels, classical literature, and historical records can help improve a child's writing ability.
Family Education
Do not proactively enroll children in various interest classes, but take them to see various interest classes to enhance their classification knowledge of the world. Tell children that most of the foundational knowledge taught in interest classes can be learned by themselves.
Early family education is more important than school education; cultivating children's self-learning habits is more important than relying on teachers for supervision.
Do not overly prevent children from doing something; instead, assume they will do it and ask what you can do to endure and remedy the situation. Only prevent what you cannot endure. Assume your child will get lost in Douyin, become addicted to games, or be engrossed in novels. All obsessions are a necessary part of growth, and parents must be prepared accordingly, without pretending that their child is not an ordinary person.
Children yearn to participate in the adult world; when possible, let them assist you. More exciting for children than playing with puzzles is shopping, washing cars, cooking, and doing everything like adults.
When children are daydreaming, engrossed in solitary play, do not interrupt them, and also prevent others from interrupting; this greatly helps cultivate their focus.
Parents find it difficult to enter their children's inner world, but they can patiently observe their behavior to make judgments, capturing their personality strengths and providing positive encouragement, which unlocks the code to stimulate their inner strength.
Communicate with children, acknowledge and accept their emotions, validate their feelings, and then guide them toward change.
Ideally, from birth, give children an independent room to create an environment where they can operate independently, using the items in that environment to help them live authentically and build their self. If conditions do not allow, you can designate a part of a room exclusively for the child, allowing them to engage in activities freely, such as disassembling toys, twisting screws, reading, or lying down to eat sweet potato chips...
Ensure that early reading for children is not painful; only then can they joyfully return to reading now or in the future.
Buy a dictionary for your child; if they do not understand something, they can look it up. Once children discover this habit, they will follow suit.
Learning is a lifelong endeavor; surpassing others is not important; continually surpassing oneself is more worthy of encouragement. The most important thing in family education is to not let children lose interest in learning, as that is an irretrievable failure.
If a child wants to play with you, engage wholeheartedly with them; this is also a method of observation. When children feel your full presence, you will have more time to observe.
Reading aloud is the cheapest, simplest, and most effective means of family teaching. Very few children will spontaneously take to reading; usually, someone must lead them into the wonderful world of books. If the kindergarten does not have a reading program, be cautious in your selection.
Demonstrate to children that education and learning are an infinite game; parents should not compare themselves to other children or siblings in the moment, nor should they obsess over reading levels, math skills, or exam scores. Teach children to play this infinite game by participating alongside them.
Every child has a unique growth secret; respect their developmental pace, and do not feel anxious if they are slower than others or give excessive praise if they are faster.
Education is not about teaching children to memorize, but about helping them understand. It is not about instilling knowledge, but about igniting the child's desire to explore new knowledge.
School Education
The complexity of parenting lies in establishing a trust chain among three roles. The first is the authority of the teacher. For example, in the small city where I live, I feel that the best public elementary school here may not do better than I do, but I have to accept that once a child discovers that what the teacher says may not be correct, and if the teacher does not acknowledge this, how can trust be established among the three parties? The second is the school's philosophy. The best two private elementary schools, one features red culture, and the other surprisingly teaches the "Disciple's Regulations." Should children trust the school or their parents? The third is the child's educational goals. I let my child set their own learning goals, but will the school agree? Will the teacher agree?
Under geographical limitations, children have no choice of teachers; they often do not even know which teachers are good at their school, usually believing their own teacher is the best. If there were a teacher version of Yelp, knowing what makes the best teachers good, but in reality, even if you knew, you still couldn't choose. Providing education for children is similar to economics, figuring out how to optimize allocation under scarce or limited resources. Providing education for children is also similar to home renovation, making the best possible temporary or potentially permanent compromises under conditions of perpetual financial constraints.
The earliest compulsory education came from Prussia, teaching patriotic education, and now subject education has been added on top of that. Our country's education aims to cultivate successors of socialism; you must deeply understand this.
Parents greatly overestimate their influence on children, but in fact, the peer group has a greater impact on the development of a child's personality.
Teachers cannot attend to every child; if your learning pace is faster than most, imagine you and the teacher are on the same team, and you need to cooperate with the teacher's work.
Do not accept the nonsense from training institutions that claim you will win at the starting line; that is a short-distance life metaphor encouraging you to consume. Life should be a marathon; those who run ahead may win initially, but that does not mean they will continue to win; in fact, most people cannot persist.
Frequently remind yourself: you are doing well; it does not matter if you do not come in first. I do not care if you are smart; I only care if you are working hard enough.
What teachers say is not necessarily correct; the education you receive in school is limited.
The methods teachers use to teach are not necessarily right; you can use the time for homework (provided you already know how to do it) to listen to how other teachers teach. Nowadays, it is very inexpensive to listen to renowned teachers from Huanggang, Beijing, and Shanghai; I will buy a few courses from renowned teachers for you to see how they teach. Their lessons may be better and easier to understand than what your teacher teaches.
There is no distinction between textbooks and extracurricular books; this concept is a hard definition created by schools for the majority, and this distinction will limit your learning. Do not accept it, nor pay it any mind.
If a teacher does something wrong, as a father, I may scold the teacher, but in most cases, I may also coexist peacefully with the teacher because I, you, and the teacher are all on the same team, and our goal is to help you grow better.
I may not proactively enroll you in various interest classes, but I will take you to see various interest classes to enhance your classification knowledge of the world. I will tell you that most of the foundational knowledge taught in interest classes can be learned by yourself.
The best teacher may not be in the best school. The best teacher may not be the one who teaches the best.