banner
leaf

leaf

It is better to manage the army than to manage the people. And the enemy.
follow
substack
tg_channel

Looking for a partner

Finding reliable partners requires considering their experience, self-awareness, execution ability, organizational building, and fact-driven approach, while also focusing on their goals, idols, interests, and integrity during interviews.

A simple way to make things easier is to have people remember you, help you, and communicate with you by establishing a strong projection model and clear requirements, and by making motions before meetings, which can help you find interesting partners.

Thinking about ideas that seem strange or bad is valuable because they might occasionally be correct and can help us break free from traditional thinking constraints.

The first is having made a lot of money: earning a million in a business in one year ensures that the mindset won't drift when making more money.

The second is having endured great hardship: having experienced failure gives courage to persist when facing difficulties again.

The third is education: having the ability to learn, a shared understanding for communication, and knowing what one is expressing.

The fourth is having a background: being able to leverage family resources, whether from a government or business background, preferably having a family that has run a hotel.

Four stages worth noting in human interactions:

● First acquaintance (hang out)

● A bit of affection (seeing each other)

● Eager to meet regularly (dating)

● Confirming the relationship (relationship)

Long-term investment itself requires knowing four points about long-term investment:

First, identify whether your project has very strong characteristics of long-term investment.

Some projects/industries inherently require a long time, persistence, and a certain degree of stability. For such projects, impatient changes are often disastrous; sometimes a single change can even turn the project's value negative.

Second, before a certain milestone in the project, adopt a low-cost operational approach.

We may see many companies starting with high investment, but even these companies have a low-cost operational phase. Many startups fail because they begin to expand wildly without having planned for the future after not experiencing a low-cost operational phase; the more they do, the more mistakes they make. By the time they realize it, valuable resources (mainly funds) have already been exhausted.

Third, look inward; long-term investment focuses resources on a critical area that requires cumulative effects.

For example, for an internet application, it may be the core algorithms and engines; for a consulting firm, it may be key talents and databases.

Fourth, look outward; long-term investment is about identifying things that remain unchanged for customers (clients), or things that appear unchanged to outsiders. A startup will go through countless changes, but these can only be internal changes. After determining the interface with customers, any changes to the interface must be approached with extreme caution.

"Musicians compose, painters paint, poets write poetry, only then can they feel at ease." — Maslow

Untitled

That is to say, everyone has a belief system for judging right and wrong, which guides us in pursuing what we want. All our actions are aimed at realizing our values; otherwise, we feel that life is incomplete and meaningless. Values dominate our way of life and influence our reactions to everything around us. Values are akin to a computer's operating system; although you can input any data, whether the computer accepts or processes it depends on whether the operating system has set the relevant programs. Values are the system in our minds that determines whether to execute.

From the clothes you wear, the car you drive, the house you live in, to the way you raise your children, everything is influenced by values. They are the norms by which we act, the key to unleashing our inner magical power, and we rely on them to understand and judge our own and others' behaviors.

KQ6R-BuQGYvzETTBjUsYe

How are values formed? They are special and emotional, stemming from your beliefs and influenced by the environment. When you were a child, your parents helped cultivate your values. They continuously told you what you should or shouldn't do, what you should or shouldn't watch, and what you should or shouldn't believe based on their own values. If you followed their words, you would receive praise; if you didn't, you would be reprimanded or even punished.

In fact, the values you formed as a child were mostly shaped through rewards and punishments. As you grew older, your peers became another source of values, and their values might differ from yours. You might integrate both sets of values or change your own because if you don't, other children might not play with you or even bully you.

Throughout your life, as you continuously make new friends, you influence each other's values and even adopt new ones. Additionally, you might idolize certain figures and mimic their words and actions. Many older children become addicted to drugs because of their admiration for certain stars, thus aligning themselves with those stars' drug habits. Fortunately, many of the heroes they admire today understand their significant responsibility as public figures in shaping societal values and therefore refuse to use and discourage others from using drugs. Many artists are aware that their media exposure plays a crucial role in influencing social values.

For example, Geldof united many singers to launch a global campaign to aid Africa, holding several concerts to save starving Africans. Their efforts and leadership strengthened people's concern for social values.

The formation of personal values is not necessarily influenced by celebrities; in the workplace, the system of rewards and punishments can also change a person's values. For instance, if you have long served a company or often work under someone, your values will be influenced. If your values differ from your boss's, promotion will be difficult; if you do not align with the company's values (corporate culture), work will be very painful. Teachers in schools often influence students' values due to differing standards of rewards and punishments.

When our goals or self-identification change, values can also change. For example, if you are determined to climb to a high position in a company, your work attitude will change; once you occupy that position, your views on many company matters will no longer be the same as before. Your values will change according to your goals and identities. At this point, the car you drive, the places you go, the friends you make, and the things you do all reflect your self-identification.

Different people have different values regarding the same matter.

For example, a big boss driving a small car is not necessarily trying to save gas; he simply does not want to conform to others. A wealthy person living in an inconspicuous house instead of a luxurious villa does not mean he is stingy but rather that he does not want to waste space. This shows that values often stem from different perspectives in assessing matters.

Understanding your own values is very important; however, most people are not very clear about them and often do not know the purpose behind their actions. If two people's values differ too much, it can easily lead to friction and suspicion, causing conflict. This phenomenon occurs not only between individuals but also between nations.

Nations and individuals can have differences in values, and even individuals themselves can have value discrepancies, meaning that certain traits may be prioritized over others.

For some, honesty is a second life; for others, friendship outweighs everything. Such values may lead the latter to lie for the sake of loyalty. They do this because, in their value hierarchy, the importance of friendship surpasses that of honesty. Perhaps in your value hierarchy, career and family are equally important, but when you promise your child to come home for dinner that night only to find out before leaving work that you have a social engagement, whether you go to that engagement depends on how you prioritize career or family. At that moment, you are in a dilemma, unable to have both. If you have experienced this, you can understand the motivations behind your own and others' actions, which stem from the order of value hierarchy.

To understand a person, you must know their value hierarchy; otherwise, you cannot comprehend their motivations. Similarly, if you can understand your own value hierarchy, you will not experience inner turmoil or conflict in your future dealings. Any success that does not align with your fundamental values cannot be lasting.

For example, someone may earn a high salary, but if they know that the money comes from an unethical source, they will feel anxious all day. In such cases, do not expect them to work diligently. Additionally, if a person places great importance on family reunions, they will not be very happy if their job requires frequent overtime, as the work situation conflicts with their values. Our actions must align with our values; otherwise, even if we possess great wealth, we will not feel happy.

Here, I do not wish to discuss the right or wrong of values, but I hope you understand that your values must help, inspire, and guide you. Values are a collective term for the subjective ranking of all external matters, tangible or intangible, in your mind.

However, most people do not know the order of their values (value hierarchy), and even if they do, it is often vague. I must tell you that being able to distinguish these value hierarchies is extremely important; it can determine whether you experience inner conflict in your dealings and whether your help to others is appreciated. The first step in understanding value hierarchy is to see what value items it includes.

How can you identify your own or others' value hierarchies? Typically, we have different value hierarchies in work, family, and friendships. To find out someone else's value hierarchy regarding friendships, you might ask, "What do you think is most important in friendship?" They might say, "They need to be able to help at any time." You then ask, "Why is being able to help at any time important?" They might respond, "So they can show they care about me."

"Why is expressing their care important?" "Because that makes me happy." By continuing to ask questions like this, you will eventually arrive at a list of value hierarchy items.

Next, you need to use comparison to determine the order of these value items. You can ask, "Between the other person's help and your feeling of happiness, which do you think is more important?" If the answer is, "The feeling of happiness," then this indicates it ranks higher in this hierarchy.

Then you ask, "Between the feeling of being cared for and the feeling of happiness, which do you think is more important?" If they answer, "The feeling of happiness," then it is clear that happiness is the most important among these three value items. Now you can ask, "Between being cared for and receiving help, which do you think is more important?"

If they respond, "Being cared for is more important," you can deduce that care ranks second, below happiness but above help. By comparing item by item, you can understand the relative order of the other person's value items. In the previous example, even if the other person does not mind not receiving help from friends, if another person places help above care, they may feel that if they do not receive help, the other person does not care about them, potentially leading to a breakup.

Below, I list 14 value items for friendship for your reference, and of course, there may be others. If you have additional items, feel free to add them.

Care (Love) Happiness (Ecstasy) Communication (Mutual communication) Respect

Fun (Fun) Growth (Growth) Support (Support) Challenge (Challenge)

Creativity (Creativity) Beauty (Beauty) Affection (Attraction) Spiritual unity (Spiritual unity)

Freedom (Freedom) Honesty (Honesty)

Now you can rank them according to their importance in your mind. The task of ranking is difficult and complex; you must compare them one by one as mentioned earlier to establish the correct value hierarchy.

Once you have completed the value hierarchy for friendships, you can also conduct the value hierarchy for work. For example, you can ask yourself, "What do I think is most important in work?" You might say creativity. Next, you ask, "Why is creativity important?" "Because I feel growth when I am creative." "Why is growth important?" By continuing to ask questions like this, you can list the value hierarchy items. If you are a parent, you can use this method with your children to identify the value items that inspire them.

By establishing a value hierarchy, you can uncover many life aspects' hierarchies, and you may be surprised to find certain value items ranked higher than expected. Because you focus on your value hierarchy, you will understand the motivations behind certain actions.

Knowing the most important value items in your mind is crucial, as it allows you to concentrate your energy on what you pursue.

1. The usefulness of things,
2. The direction of desires,
3. The satisfaction of desires by things.

Simply organizing the value hierarchy is not enough because when people talk about value items, although they use the same words, it does not mean they have the same meaning. If you truly care about the value hierarchies of both parties, you must spend some effort to clarify the true meaning of these terms.

Take the value item "care" as an example; you might ask, "What must be done for you to feel cared for?" "What makes you care about that person?" "How do you know when others do not care about you?" Asking questions like this allows for the most precise definition of "care." This process is not easy, but if you put in the effort, you will gain greater self-awareness and understand your true wishes. When your wishes are fulfilled, you will also know for sure.

Of course, you cannot identify the value hierarchy of every friend, but for those with whom you have a close relationship, such as a partner or child, you must understand their thoughts. For other people around you, it is not necessary to delve so deeply; just pay attention to certain key points. When interacting with others, both parties likely have expectations of each other and assess each other's character based on behavior and words. If you can understand the other person's values, it will be easier to reach a consensus, and you can anticipate their behavior and true needs.

In everyday conversations, if you can carefully listen to the words others use and observe which words they repeat, you can easily identify the value items they prioritize, allowing you to provide appropriate encouragement and motivation in the future.

Understanding employees' value items is an issue that business operators cannot overlook. All employees have a highest expectation (value item) regarding their work; some may prioritize money, others creativity, some challenges, and others stability. If a company can meet these expectations, employees will work there for a long time; otherwise, they will leave.

For managers, knowing employees' value hierarchies in work is absolutely necessary. Initially, you should ask, "What are your main criteria for choosing a company?" Suppose this employee responds, "A creative environment." You then continue to ask based on this item to uncover their value hierarchy. Next, you change the direction of your questioning and ask what their main value item for leaving would be if the aforementioned value items were present.

If they say, "Lack of trust," you follow up with, "Even if there is truly a lack of trust, what would keep you here?" Some may say they would never consider staying, indicating that "trust" is the most important value item for those individuals. Others may say that as long as there are opportunities for promotion, they can continue working, in which case you must continue asking until you uncover their non-negotiable value items. These most important value items act like super anchors, strongly influencing the emotions of the individuals involved. Additionally, you must pay special attention to the clear definitions of these value items. For example, "trust" in one person's mind may mean not doubting their decisions, while "lack of trust" in another's mind may mean being reassigned without any explanation. Only by clearly understanding these value items can managers anticipate how to handle employee issues in various situations.

Some managers believe that as long as they provide employees with satisfactory salaries, employees will work hard. This view is not entirely incorrect, but different people prioritize different value items. Some may find it most important to work with people they like; when those people are reassigned, they lose interest in their work. For others, a good job in their minds is one that allows them to express creativity and presents challenges. If managers want to excel in their roles, they must understand employees' work values and meet them; if they cannot provide such satisfaction, they risk losing employees, and even if they do not lose them, those employees will not work hard.

Is understanding employees' work values time-consuming and requiring keen observation? Certainly, but the effort is worthwhile. Values have a significant impact on personal emotions; if you only approach things from your perspective, you may face resistance and rejection from employees. Conversely, if you can bridge the gap between your work values and theirs, you can enjoy pleasant interactions with employees. In our lives, whether our values align with others is not crucial; what matters is whether we can respect others' values and satisfy them.

The role of values shares the same characteristics as other concepts discussed in this book. Remember what we said earlier: we have been using a map that does not accurately represent real boundaries. If the map you use is similar to mine, communication between us will be easy. If we view values as a map, it may be the most important and detailed map. Therefore, when I talk to you about values, it is akin to comparing your map with mine to see if they align; you may find no similarities at all. If both you and I consider "freedom" to be the most important value item, then we may find common ground and agreement.

However, it is not that simple because my concept of freedom may refer to the freedom to do as I please, while your concept of freedom may refer to being undisturbed. For others, freedom might refer to political definitions.

"If life has nothing worth sacrificing for, it is like living in vain." — Martin Luther King Jr.

Because values have primary characteristics, they exert an extraordinary influence on people's emotions, uniting people in ways that nothing else can. Throughout history, there have been examples of the few defeating the many, all due to the power of values. If values can wield such great power, and if we can truly identify the value hierarchies of those related to us, we can accomplish things previously deemed impossible.

Shared values form the basis for consensus. If two people's values are completely aligned, their relationship can endure; if their values are entirely different, not only will the relationship be short-lived, but it may not exist at all. However, no relationship falls into these two extremes, so you still have two things you can do.

First, find commonalities in both parties' values and use them to help resolve differences. (Isn't this what Reagan and Gorbachev worked hard to achieve in high-level meetings? Finding common interests between the two countries to maintain their relationship—such as avoiding nuclear destruction.)

Second, do your utmost to help the other person achieve their greatest wishes. If you can accomplish these two points, you can establish mutually beneficial and lasting relationships in your life and work.

Values are crucial factors in determining whether a person is hypocritical or can be inspired. If you can understand the other person's values, you can grasp the direction of all their actions. Values are the ultimate arbiters, determining what should be done and what should not.

Values have different meanings for everyone, and the measures taken to realize them also vary. When setting pursuit goals, you should also establish a verification process to help you determine whether you are on the right path and whether you are truly reaching the endpoint. This verification process is not fixed; you have the authority to change it as long as it genuinely helps you move forward, and you can adjust it from time to time.

Sometimes, values can change very quickly without our awareness, rendering our established verification processes either inappropriate or outdated. Many of us focus solely on our goals, fixating on what represents supreme value in our minds, only to realize after achieving that goal that it holds no meaning for us. The reason lies in the fact that our values have already changed, but our verification processes have not adapted accordingly.

At times, people may have verification processes that do not align with their values, leading them to know the goals they pursue but not their motivations. Thus, when they achieve those goals, they may find it was merely an illusion, a result of going with the flow. I want to remind you to pay attention to changes in your values and continuously reflect on whether those values can help you lead a happy and fulfilling life.

Here, I want to emphasize the importance of flexibility. We mentioned earlier that only the most flexible systems have the greatest choices and are the most effective. Without flexibility, you may exclude many people and things that could help you achieve your goals, leading to inevitable failure.

To understand and inspire yourself and others, the most effective method is to combine values with personality patterns.

Because values determine our thoughts and perspectives, while personality patterns influence our cognition and actions. If you can align these two functions appropriately, you can develop the most inspiring patterns.

I once mentored a wayward young man who had nearly driven his parents to despair. His parents were most dissatisfied with him for never considering the consequences of his actions. In my conversations with this young man, I discovered that his personality pattern combined pursuit and need types. I then asked him to list his top three value items: security, happiness, and trust.

After gathering this information, I proceeded to model my approach to achieve alignment. I explained to him that his behavior—wandering outside for two days without seeking his parents' consent or maintaining contact—was jeopardizing his value items.

If he continued in this manner, his parents would lose patience and send him to a place devoid of security, happiness, and trust, which could be a prison or a reform school. Since his parents could not manage him, they would let him stay in a place that could.

My words provided him with insights into things he would avoid, which could jeopardize his value items. (For many, even if they are pursuit-oriented, they will still avoid behaviors that harm them.) Next, I told him what he needed to do to earn his parents' trust and continue living in a home that could provide him with security, happiness, and trust.

First, he must return home by 10 PM every night; second, he must find a job within a week; third, he must do household chores. I told him that if he could genuinely adhere to these three points within 60 days, his parents would increase their trust in him and provide him with the protection and happiness he deserved.

I made it clear to him that these rules were things he "must do" immediately (targeting his "need" and "pursuit" personality patterns) to maintain what he deemed important, and those three must-follow rules served as the verification process. In the past, he did not know what actions would earn his parents' support, but after combining value items with personality patterns, he became the good child in his parents' eyes.

When a person has clear values, they can unleash explosive power. In the past, your values were governed by the subconscious; now you have the ability to understand them and direct them positively.

There is one point that is important for each of us: values can change, and people can change; the only ones who do not change are those buried underground.

Each of us must follow the trends of the times, grasp the pulse of society, and keep moving forward. If one stubbornly clings to their own views and does not embrace the changes of the times, it will be difficult to establish oneself in the world.

Finally, I must ask you to pay attention to the fact that we are constantly imitating others, and our children, subordinates, and colleagues also imitate us from various angles. If we want to become worthy of their imitation, we must possess strong and powerful values and consistent behavior.

Certainly, imitating others' behaviors is very important, but emulating their values is even more crucial. Learn from those great individuals, learn from those successful people, and adopt those value items that enrich life, guiding you toward success.

The so-called "Master System":

The "Master System" is the key factor that influences your entire life.

All human behavior is controlled by the "Master System," just as physics or chemistry is governed by certain laws or principles. This "Master System" consists of five major components.

Each of us interprets or reacts to everything around us through these five components.

How the Master System controls the formation of thoughts:

  1. The "psychological state" and "emotions" at the time.

  2. The types of questions we ask ourselves.

The type of questions determines the type of thoughts generated.

  1. Our "values."

There are two types of values:

  1. One is called "pursuit values," such as love, growth, joy, and a sense of achievement, which are the positive emotions we continually seek.

  2. The other is called "avoidance values," such as frustration, depression, anger, and humiliation, which are the painful emotions we strive to avoid.

  3. Our "beliefs."

These can be divided into two levels.

  1. The "higher level" is what we generally refer to as "beliefs," which gives us a sense of control over our feelings, ourselves, life, and the people around us.

  2. The "lower level" is what we call "mindsets," which are the conditions we believe are necessary to pursue certain values.

What we call "evaluation" is the thought determined collectively by the "Master System." "Beliefs and mindsets" generate "evaluations."

Successful people share a common trait: they maintain a positive "evaluation" of everything happening around them.

  1. Our "mental frameworks."

These are the rich knowledge and experiences stored in our minds that can be referenced during our decision-making processes; I call this "mental frameworks."

"Mind frameworks" generate "beliefs and mindsets."

Every day, we must seize opportunities to learn new mental frameworks to enhance positive beliefs, establish useful values, and ask new questions, keeping ourselves fully directed toward our goals to achieve the life we desire.

Need for feedback mechanisms

There are roughly three aspects: identifying problems, correcting trajectories, and adjusting mindsets.

  1. Identifying problems. As the saying goes, "Being in the game, you often don't know the game." It is often difficult for oneself to discover one's own problems, while others, as observers, can often see what we cannot. In work, we frequently receive feedback from colleagues or supervisors; sometimes, improving our work may just require that one small step. In life, if a benefactor points something out, sometimes just a word or two can provide great clarity.

  2. Correcting trajectories. The road of life is long; sometimes we forget why we set out, and at times we may get lost in corners and cannot find our way out. At such times, we need feedback to pull ourselves out of the minutiae and reassess the larger direction, which is really difficult without others.

  3. Adjusting mindsets. Positive feedback can help us build confidence, while negative feedback can help us avoid blind confidence. In difficult times, we need encouragement, and in times of success, we need reminders. Relying solely on oneself to adjust one's mindset can sometimes lead to deviations, and everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, as well as situations that are advantageous or disadvantageous to them. When caught in negative emotions, one tends to see only their shortcomings and disadvantages, making external feedback mechanisms essential.

However, feedback cannot be accepted unconditionally; one must still exercise their own judgment. Additionally, an unfortunate point is that the feedback that truly facilitates growth is often unpalatable, and accepting it requires a strong mindset.

How to establish it?

Actually, I am still exploring this, but it revolves around the word "proactive."

Interpersonal connections

First is linking with people. Finding a mentor is the easiest way, but finding a good mentor is truly difficult. There are many talented individuals, but few who can recognize them. This mentor must have sufficient experience, such as having walked all the paths you are currently traversing; they must also understand your actual situation well, which can be compensated for later through more communication; finally, they must be willing to invest time and energy to help you.

My ideal mentor is someone like this: they are the person I want to become, and their help feels like they are assisting their younger self. Sometimes, they don't even need to say anything; just their presence allows me to feel their strength.

Difficult as it may be, it is still possible to find one, and I increasingly feel that having a life mentor is particularly important.

Social media

Secondly, social media. I think many people underestimate the power of social platforms, possibly because they have not found the right way to use them. I believe the greatest value of social platforms is connection; people who would originally require "six degrees of separation" to connect can now converse directly.

My own experience is:

  1. Share your current situation more; if you want feedback from others, you must first open up.

  2. Pay more attention to the posts of people you admire.

  3. If you have questions, directly message them; do not be afraid of bothering others, but be polite. If they do not respond, do not overthink it; they may have simply forgotten or not have time to reply. Move on and go next.

In summary, be a genuine person; what everyone wants to see is a real person, not an overly packaged marketing account. Only sincere people can receive sincere feedback.

Journals and books

I used to struggle to understand why older people are so obsessed with many metaphysical things until I grew older and realized that sometimes it is necessary to "seek within." When the external world cannot change, one can only adjust their mindset. If external feedback is truly unavailable, one can only seek it from journals and books. Journals are conversations with oneself; I truly admire how Zeng Guofan wrote a lifetime of self-reflective journals. Books are conversations with authors; sometimes, you do not need to finish a book; just one or two sentences can provide great clarity.

However, it is still best to have an external feedback mechanism; after all, seeing oneself always comes with filters.

Long-term

Finally, the most crucial point is that feedback mechanisms are not a one-time effort but a continuous process. Establishing a long-term feedback loop is essential to ensure continuous improvement.

Here, improvement refers more to decision-making because there are too many uncontrollable variables; only by continuously adjusting your decisions can you cope with various uncertainties.

Big directions and small events always require constant adjustments. How to optimize your decisions through feedback mechanisms is the core of this article, and I hope it provides you with some small help.

A lifecycle of wealth. In simple terms, there are four stages:

  1. Creation of economic value

  2. Capture/control of that value

  3. How much leverage is being applied

  4. Period of time during which the capital compounds

Image

Loading...
Ownership of this post data is guaranteed by blockchain and smart contracts to the creator alone.