Making a living and seeking love

Everyone has their own scale in their hearts, their own standards. Each person's experiences are different, and so their definitions of love will also differ.

Love is often a very short-lived "thing." Encountering truly perfect love is just a rather uncertain probability. Not everyone will encounter love, and not everyone needs love. Yes, you heard that right. These words can easily make people feel disappointed. A large portion of people in this world may never experience what is called unwavering love throughout their lives, yet they still survive, have children, and continue their lineage.

The first point is to love yourself immensely. Love your body, love your figure, love your voice, love your hobbies, love your thoughts. You need to learn to like yourself, focus on yourself, and truly become yourself.

Becoming a better version of yourself is the key to solving all problems. I hope all the girls learn to focus on themselves, on their work and careers. Once you have a certain financial foundation, you can spend money on yourself appropriately. First, take good care of yourself, maintain a good state, and naturally, you won't feel anxious about marriage. Because you are already certain that you are good enough, you have given yourself enough security and do not need to demand it from others. Only when both parties are on equal footing can they manage their marriage well. Otherwise, no matter who you marry, the final outcome will be the same.

From a legal and economic perspective, a marriage can be likened to a partnership. Both spouses are shareholders in this enterprise, bearing both internal and external risks while also reaping the benefits of the partnership. Of course, in business and running an enterprise, one must also be prepared for dissolution; managing a romantic relationship or marriage should be no different.

Whether in love or marriage, one must learn to insure oneself in advance. This is not to scheme against the other party but to maximize the protection of our personal and property safety. We must understand that most marital disputes can be avoided. This is also the original intention behind writing this book, hoping everyone can make more rational decisions regarding emotions and marriage, avoiding future regrets. Even if you choose not to marry, you must learn to protect yourself to avoid negative impacts on your life from sudden risks.

The importance of the family of origin
Examining what the other person's family of origin is like is an important dimension in judging whether a boyfriend is suitable for marriage. Before deciding whether to marry your partner, you can meet their parents to understand their family background and how their parents interact with each other.
Whether the other person's parents are divorced is not the focus; the key is whether they can still get along peacefully like friends or family, filled with goodwill and care, or if there is hatred and resentment among them.
Before marriage, you must have more contact with the other person's parents. By communicating with them, you can understand their growth process and determine the marriage model after marriage.

The human brain's habitual software during the growth process. When we buy a new computer from the mall, it only has the skeleton and hardware; it cannot be used without installing the system software and operating system. When we are born, we are like a bare machine; if no one installs the system software for you, you cannot grow. Do you know who programmed your system software? The answer is your parents, your family. For example, whether you eat with chopsticks or a knife and fork, the way you speak, your language habits, how you greet others, whether you are polite, whether you treat others with humility, such as not lying, not taking others' things, and taking responsibility for your own mistakes—these are all part of the initial system software. If this system software has defects, it is easy to encounter bugs. Once there are bugs, problems are likely to arise during cohabitation with others, and such problems are often difficult to reconcile.

Assessing their values
In addition to the family of origin, it is best to learn about their colleagues and friends.
Occasionally organize gatherings with friends, such as singing, barbecuing, or traveling together. During these gatherings, observe what entertainment activities they engage in and how they interact with their friends.
At the same time, listen to their evaluations of their friends, as this can reflect their own worldview.

Listen to their views on money
Additionally, you should pay close attention to their views on money.
The maintenance of marriage cannot be separated from property protection mechanisms, and their views on money will directly affect how property issues are handled in marriage.
So, you need to consider several questions: Does your boyfriend place a particularly high value on money? When he needs to give up some of his financial interests, is he generous or overly meticulous? If your boyfriend is very concerned about small benefits or refuses to share his wealth, then marrying such a person may lead to conflicts over minor property issues, which could seriously lead to the breakdown of the marriage.

Assessing stress tests
When looking for a partner to marry, it is essential to find someone emotionally stable. Emotional stability is a particularly valuable quality in a man. Because he is emotionally stable, every time he drives out, you feel secure, knowing he can turn misfortunes into blessings no matter what happens. You won't worry that he will frequently have conflicts with others; even if occasional disagreements arise, he will understand how to resolve them gracefully.

Of course, in addition to the four observation dimensions mentioned above, there are also some general standards, such as the other person's physical health status, credit report, whether there are hereditary diseases or mental illnesses in the family, etc. By comprehensively analyzing the information observed, you can clearly outline the state of your married life.
Of course, all the judgment criteria mentioned above are not absolute; no one can measure who is suitable as a partner and who is not like a ruler. The following measures may help you eliminate some obvious wrong answers.

A person's growth experience will leave a deep imprint on them, like a plum blossom imprint. Perhaps in our lifetime, we only see countless people and experience countless things, which allows us to clearly see this plum blossom imprint on ourselves. Once we see this plum blossom imprint clearly, we can understand what we want, and at that moment, we live transparently, no longer being bound by the people and things around us.

99% of a person's troubles come from interpersonal relationships, and dealing with these relationships will continuously drain your energy. Only by saving enough money can you refuse job invitations you don't like and reject those unproductive social interactions. One day, when you have enough wealth, you will have enough confidence to refuse others' improper demands, thus avoiding all the interpersonal relationships you dislike and solving 99% of your troubles.

Having both love and bread is naturally better. However, when faced with the choice between love and making money, when both cannot be perfectly balanced, do not easily give up your career, nor should you easily give up your opportunity to earn money.

If you choose to marry a man whose living environment is vastly different from yours, I suggest you prepare comprehensively in all aspects. You might as well visit your boyfriend's hometown to see his living environment with your own eyes and truly experience his lifestyle. Because in the future, during holidays or when you have children and need help from your mother-in-law, his family's values and hygiene habits will inevitably become part of your life.
If you feel that you can fully accept it and are well-prepared, then consider whether to marry.

Thirdly, if you are "climbing high," you must have self-awareness.
Compared to "marrying down," more girls may choose to "climb high." Young girls with good looks and personalities often encounter a well-off man and achieve financial freedom through marriage, and such cases are everywhere.
The problem is that after enjoying this good life for a while, some girls easily forget the path they took to get here, losing the correct judgment of their self-worth, binding their husband's abilities to themselves, thinking, "The reason he is doing so well in business now must be because of me; perhaps it's because I bring him good luck." If you think this way, you lack self-awareness.

Girls who climb high economically should live with a grateful heart, feeling lucky to live life well. Never think that just because you married him, and because you have a marriage certificate, everything he has now naturally belongs to you, and all the money he earns now is yours.

You must understand that all relationships are maintained through mutual needs. In the past, your youth and beauty, gentleness, and thoughtfulness may have been your value, but as time goes on, these "dividends" will gradually disappear. If you still take everything for granted and do not early on enhance and improve yourself in your comfort zone, how can you maintain a marriage for the long term?

We need to accumulate other advantages and strengths that are not deprived by time. For example, are you good at managing a household? Are you good at organizing banquets? Can you maintain good relationships with your husband's business partners' families to support your husband? Or have you learned a lot about family education theories and methods to take good care of your children? Or is your financial management ability strong enough to manage your family's assets well?
If you want to live well, you must first have self-awareness, know what value you possess, what contributions you can make to the family, and what support and assistance you can provide to the man you live with.

Choosing a partner based solely on conditions is not advisable. After all, "do not underestimate the youth's poverty." Many girls have encountered "potential stocks" with good character and abilities, and both work hard together, living harmoniously. Moreover, many girls want to be a "nurturing girlfriend," working hard with their boyfriends to build a life from scratch. Or some girls originally have good incomes and only need someone who truly cares for them, regardless of the other person's income.
These are all personal choices, with no right or wrong, no superiority or inferiority.
But if you encounter someone who treats you well but is economically inferior and lacks strong abilities, I have a few suggestions for you:

Do not rush to get a marriage certificate.
Never get pregnant before marriage.
Test the relationship for a while longer; you must live together to see if you can get along harmoniously and whether there are any gaps in values.
Within reasonable limits, spend a little of his money to see if he will mind.
If he asks to be intimate with you and you happen to refuse due to being in a bad mood, observe his reaction.
Observe how he behaves when he loses his temper.
Observe how he behaves when he gets drunk.
If the whole family plays mahjong for entertainment during the New Year, observe how he reacts when he loses. This will reveal his mental health level, character, abilities, and his motivations for being with you. Therefore, I suggest that girls try living with their boyfriends for 3 to 5 months to thoroughly assess their true character.

When dating, should you return gifts received from such a person?
From a legal perspective, whether gifts received during the dating period need to be returned should be viewed from the following three dimensions:

What is the purpose of the gift?
What kind of gift is it? Can this gift be considered a betrothal gift?
What is the value and amount of the gift?
The direct meaning of a breakup is that one does not wish to marry the other. In this case, there is only one type of gift that the law requires to be returned, which is the betrothal gift. Betrothal gifts are given with the intention of marriage. For example, in some rural areas, the groom must give the bride gold earrings, rings, and necklaces, which are generally recognized by law as gifts given for the purpose of marriage. As long as you do not wish to marry, these "three golds" must be returned.

This should consider the following factors:

The size of the value. If your boyfriend bought a bag worth 200,000 yuan, then you will likely need to return the gift.
The value of the gift should be compared with the giver's income level. If the other party is a billionaire and bought you a bag worth several thousand yuan, it may not be recognized as a betrothal gift, and you would not need to return it upon breaking up. In determining whether it is a betrothal gift, the judge has a lot of discretion.
According to local customs, if the received gift is recognized as a betrothal gift, and you ultimately do not marry, then the betrothal gift must be returned.
Anything not explicitly stated by law is at the discretion of the judge. The law stipulates that if the parties do not marry, the betrothal gift must be returned. However, the law does not specify what constitutes a betrothal gift, which requires the judge to make a comprehensive judgment based on the specific facts of the case, the amount of the betrothal gift, the income status of the groom, the wedding preparation situation, and the local economic level and customs.

Tips for Pre-Marital Property Agreements#

Pre-marital property agreements are a hot topic, and there are many misconceptions about them. For example, many people think that pre-marital property agreements can only stipulate pre-marital property, which is incorrect. Although the agreement is called a pre-marital property agreement and is generally signed before marriage, this agreement can stipulate both pre-marital and post-marital property. It can designate pre-marital property as jointly owned or designate post-marital property as individually owned, or stipulate that part belongs to one party and part is jointly owned.
When stipulating pre-marital property, you can list in detail what property you have before marriage and clarify how the appreciation, rent, or cash obtained from selling these properties after marriage should be allocated. You can even specify the intended use of post-marital property, such as stating that if the house for which you made the down payment before marriage needs to be sold in the future, your spouse must cooperate unconditionally in signing, and what responsibilities they should bear if they refuse to sign. Entrepreneurs especially need to pay attention to how the equity obtained from a company established before marriage, dividends, stock appreciation, and cash obtained from selling stocks after marriage should be allocated; these details can be clearly outlined in advance.

How to Handle Real Estate in Pre-Marital Property Agreements#

If the material form of pre-marital property changes (for example, if a pre-marital house is sold and then another is bought, or if a pre-marital vehicle is traded in for a new one, which party should the new property belong to), this can also be detailed in the pre-marital property agreement. If the property is real estate, the location and property rights certificate number should be clearly stated to specify which property the agreement refers to, especially for houses with outstanding loans before marriage. Detailed provisions should be made regarding the loan repayment portion and the corresponding appreciation and increase in value. For example, after the couple receives their marriage certificate, the portion of the loan that one party is responsible for, along with the corresponding appreciation, and the entire house, should be unrelated to the other party and belong solely to the borrower. If no agreement is signed regarding this, then the loan repayments and corresponding appreciation after marriage will belong to the couple's joint property.

If the house is rented out after the couple receives their marriage certificate, if there is no prior agreement and no written agreement clarifying who owns the rent, according to legal provisions, as long as one party (regardless of who) has invested time and effort in managing the rental property, the rent will belong to the couple's joint property.
However, it can be directly stipulated in the pre-marital property agreement that the rental income from the pre-marital house, including the proceeds from selling the property and the appreciation, as well as the repayment portion after marriage, will belong solely to the contributing party.

Post-Marital Income Property Sectors
What are the main sectors of income after marriage?
The first sector is post-marital income.
Salaries, bonuses, remuneration, income from intellectual property, and other labor income, including the income generated from these investments, can all be designated as personal property. The property in this first sector is earned through time and effort, whether it is salary, bonuses, or other labor income, all can be included.
This property can be designated as belonging solely to one party, or a certain percentage can be allocated to one party while the remainder is jointly owned by the couple. For example, if your annual income is 1 million yuan, you can stipulate that 50% belongs to you personally, and 50% is jointly owned by the couple.

The second sector is property gifted by parents.
If parents give gifts to their children after marriage without stipulating otherwise, these gifts will become joint property. To avoid this situation, it should be clearly stated in the pre-marital property agreement that gifts from parents, even if given after marriage, will be considered personal property. Whether it is real estate, stocks, funds, securities, company shares, or financial products, as long as they are purchased by parents and registered in their children's names, they can be designated as the children's personal property and not as joint property. The income generated from property gifted by parents after marriage can be preemptively designated as belonging solely to the child, regardless of whether the spouse has invested time and effort.

The third sector is inheritance left by parents.
If parents pass away, the estate left behind should, according to legal provisions, belong to both spouses as joint property. Unless the parents have made a will clearly stating that the property will be inherited solely by the children and not involve their spouses. If the parents did not leave a will, the couple can clearly stipulate in the pre-marital property agreement that the property inherited from their parents does not belong to joint property. This is a clear agreement regarding property that may be inherited in the future. No one knows when inheritance will occur, but it will eventually happen. Clearly defining the ownership of potentially inherited property before marriage can avoid future conflicts over each other's family assets. If the agreement was not signed before marriage, it can also be clarified after marriage through a property agreement between the couple, stating that the property obtained through inheritance belongs to each party individually and is not joint property.

The fourth sector is property purchased after marriage.
Whether property purchased after marriage is joint property or personal property can also be clearly stipulated in the pre-marital property agreement. Properties, vehicles, stocks, funds, bags, watches, and jewelry purchased with each party's income after marriage can all be designated as belonging solely to each party.
In addition to property, debt issues are often overlooked.
Property is divided into positive and negative assets, and debts as negative assets should also be clearly stipulated in the pre-marital property agreement. The agreement regarding debts should specify the reasons for the debts incurred before marriage, the amounts, the creditors, repayment timelines, and whether there are any guarantees. The agreement can also stipulate what kind of breach of contract liability should be borne if one party deliberately conceals their debt issues, causing losses to the other party. For debts incurred after marriage, it can be stipulated that both parties must clarify their respective responsibilities when borrowing externally, stating who owes the debt and who will repay it, and this agreement must be confirmed by the creditor. If the creditor does not confirm when the other party borrows, the debtor should bear what kind of compensation responsibility, which can also be specified in the agreement.

Comparing marriage to finding a suitable partner to run a company together. The biggest project of this company is to raise common offspring. Since it is a joint project, responsibilities and rights must be clear for the project to grow and strengthen.

If the funds for purchasing the house come entirely from the man's personal property before marriage, and the house purchased after marriage is registered solely in the man's name, then the house will be recognized as the man's personal property, not as joint property.
Of course, the premise for the house to be considered the man's personal property is that he meets the following points:

The house before marriage has no loans (meaning no payments have been made on that house after marriage);
The savings before and after marriage are not mixed together;
The money from selling the house before marriage is kept separately in one account and not mixed with post-marital savings;
All funds used for purchasing the house after marriage (including agency fees, taxes, renovation costs, etc.) come from the sale of pre-marital property and pre-marital savings;
The house is registered solely in his name.
It is important to add that if the man buys this house to take care of sick parents rather than for investment appreciation, then the house purchased for the purpose of caring for sick parents cannot be considered an investment. If the house is recognized as the man's personal property, then the appreciation of the property will still belong to him personally.
To summarize, the change in the form of personal property before marriage does not lead to a change in ownership. However, if the change in property form is for investment purposes, the appreciation and income generated from the investment will be recognized as joint property.

Is it necessary to notarize property before marriage?
For example, if you have a fully paid apartment before marriage, and there are no bank loans involved, it does not relate to any loan repayments after marriage. This apartment, regardless of whether it is notarized, is your personal property as long as you are alive; this house has nothing to do with your spouse. If you pass away before your spouse and have not arranged a will to clarify how this house should be divided, then your spouse has inheritance rights (at this point, the house is related to your spouse).
If you have some cash in a bank account, and it is mixed with some private money from your parents, how should this situation be handled?
If it is your pre-marital savings, it is advisable to keep it in a separate bank account. After marriage, do not deposit more money into this account, and try not to spend from this account. Legally, the changes in the balance of this account can prove that this is your pre-marital property. Because money is very special; if you continue to deposit money or spend from this account after marriage, it will be unclear which money is pre-marital savings and which belongs to post-marital savings, and it will naturally become a mess.
What if you want to use the money in the account after marriage?
For example, if you see a car you really want to buy, you can use this account to pay for it in full, and all taxes should also be paid from this account. If the car is registered solely in your name, this can prove that every penny spent on the car is from pre-marital savings, so this car should belong to you.
If the dividends from your company’s stocks are in another account, are they also personal property? Not necessarily. Because after marriage, the time, energy, and labor spent on running the company are not solely your responsibility. For example, if you do business outside while your husband cooks, does laundry, cleans, and takes care of the elderly and children at home, he is also helping you focus on your business. After marriage, couples will have divisions of labor; even if all the work in the company is done by you, from the moment of marriage, your time, energy, and labor are not solely your contribution, and the returns should also be considered as joint benefits of the family. Therefore, even if the company was established before marriage, the dividends received after marriage are still considered joint property.

How to view intimate behavior

Girls should have a healthy and correct view of intimate relationships and encourage girls to establish intimate relationships before marriage, learning to enjoy intimacy. Of course, this is all under the premise of ensuring both parties' physical health and the absence of any bad habits. Before engaging in intimate behavior, it is best for both parties to undergo health checks and take contraceptive measures.
Pre-marital intimacy is also a learning process; no one is born with an understanding of this. Many couples divorce after marriage due to disharmony in their intimate lives, and a significant reason for this is that both parties lack experience in intimate behavior, which leads to problems in married life.

This story serves as a reminder that when women cannot live independently and lack awareness of protecting themselves, they must remember the order of marriage and childbirth: first get married, then prepare for pregnancy and childbirth; never get it reversed.

In relationships between the sexes, the following points must be noted:

Be particularly aware of your body, such as your safe period and ovulation period.
Intimate relationships between men and women must be approached with caution.

As an adult capable of independent survival in society, you must follow your inner feelings. Do not make decisions that go against your heart due to competitiveness or the opinions of those around you. One must start from within, constantly paying attention to one's emotions and state of mind, as this is the greatest protection for oneself.

What is a wife's self-cultivation?
It is to have self-awareness and never to think that you are the white moonlight in your husband's heart, nor to think that you are the woman he cannot live without for a lifetime. Because throughout every man's growth process, he has had his own white-clad era, and in his heart, there is also a white-clad girl. That girl may be a classmate from middle school, whose every smile he remembers; she may be the class flower from high school or the campus beauty from university. Such girls will leave a lifelong imprint in his heart, and he will regard them as his youthful memories.
Will this affect the couple's feelings? Not necessarily. Because most men are ordinary people, not every man can marry his goddess. As a wife, you must understand that even if you are not your husband's goddess, you can still live well; this is the self-cultivation of a wife—there should be no delusions in the heart.
What is a delusion? It is thinking that you are your husband's goddess, that he has been waiting for your appearance since childhood; this is a delusion. When your husband looks at beautiful women’s photos or checks the social media of former classmates, class flowers, or campus beauties, this is all normal. Think about it; when you are at a class reunion, aren’t you also wondering if the boy you liked back then will come? Will he have a beer belly? Aren’t you also paying attention to his social media updates? Since everyone has such a mindset, why make things difficult for men?

Marriage is a matter between two people, and when problems arise, both parties must reflect on their words and actions. It may be that something you did has oppressed the other party for a long time, or something you said has hurt their self-esteem.

Basic principles for protecting oneself in marriage
How should women protect themselves?
At the very least, they should do the following three things:

Maintain a sense of caution towards everyone.
What does this caution mean? It means not easily revealing to others your income capabilities, savings, potential inheritance from parents, property status, etc. Do not let the other party know your bottom line as soon as you start dating.
This does not mean you should be a scheming person, but rather a kind and understanding individual. Protect your privacy well so that it cannot be exploited by those with ulterior motives.
Do not sign guarantees for anyone, and do not become a co-debtor.
Even if you love the other party dearly, do not tie your assets to another person. Even loving couples should be rational partners.
The conditions of "common intention" and "sharing" mean that as long as one of these conditions is met, it constitutes joint debt that both parties must repay; this is a basic principle.
To get accurate answers to specific issues in life, we must approach them from six angles.
When did the debtor incur the debt?
From this perspective, determining whether the debt is joint debt depends on distinguishing whether the debt was incurred before or after receiving the marriage certificate. According to legal provisions, debts incurred before receiving the marriage certificate are generally not considered joint debts, and one spouse is not obligated to repay the other’s debts.
In real life, although you are not required to repay the other party's debts, if the other party uses all their earnings to repay debts incurred before marriage, then your earnings can only be used for joint living expenses and raising children. You will hardly be able to save any money, so even if you are not obligated to repay the other party's debts, you are still essentially sharing the burden of the debt.
Additionally, if pre-marital debts are used for post-marital couple life, such as if the husband borrows money to buy a house for the wife, and the house is registered in both names, should the wife repay the husband's pre-marital debts? According to legal provisions, even if the debt was incurred before marriage, if the money was actually used for the couple's joint life and both parties benefited, then this debt will become joint debt that must be repaid by both spouses. Conversely, if one party incurs debt before receiving the marriage certificate and it was not used for the couple's life, and neither party benefited, then the other party has no obligation to repay the debt.
The type of debt incurred by the debtor.
For example, if the husband illegally owes 3,000 yuan, is it absurd for the judge to allow the creditor to seek repayment from his wife?
From this, we conclude that debts incurred by one spouse due to illegal activities do not need to be repaid by the other spouse, including debts incurred from drug use, prostitution, gambling, etc. If a man spends all his time in a casino, he does not have to repay those debts. In fact, according to legal provisions, the husband does not even have to repay gambling debts because debts incurred from gambling are not protected by law. For instance, if someone loses 50,000 yuan at the gambling table and promises to pay later but never does, if the other party wants to sue to recover that 50,000 yuan, the court will not support this claim. As the spouse of the debtor, you should firmly refuse to repay your husband's gambling debts.
However, debts incurred from gambling refer to debts owed to a third party at the gambling table; if the husband borrows money from family members under the pretext of business or other reasons to gamble, or uses bank loans for gambling, that is another matter. For example, if the husband loses 3,000 yuan to a gambling opponent, that is gambling debt, which does not need to be repaid (the husband himself does not need to repay, and the wife certainly does not need to repay).
If the husband uses a bank loan for gambling, should the wife repay it? This ultimately depends on whether it can be proven in court that the husband's bank loan was used for gambling and not for family life. If it can be proven, then the wife does not need to repay the husband's bank debt.
The amount of the debt.
If the loan amount is two or three thousand yuan (which falls within the scope of daily living expenses), the wife must prove that this money was not used for family life in order to be exempt from this debt. If the loan amount is 300,000 or 500,000 yuan (exceeding the family's daily living expenses), then the bank or other creditors must prove the purpose of the money. The law stipulates that debts exceeding daily living expenses do not require the spouse to repay them unless the creditor provides evidence that the money was borrowed for renovations, buying a car, children's education, or business, as these purposes fall under normal expenses for the couple, in which case the spouse must share the debt with the husband. Conversely, if the bank or creditor cannot prove that the loan was used for the couple's joint life or joint business, then one spouse does not need to repay the other's debts.
Whether the amount exceeds daily living expenses varies by local economic standards, and judges may have different criteria.
The purpose of the debt.
To prove the purpose of the debt, the standard should be based on the amount of the debt, distinguishing who should prove the purpose of the loan. Debts below 50,000 yuan are considered daily household expenses, and in this case, the parties must prove the purpose of the money themselves. If the borrowed money was not used for household purposes, one spouse does not need to repay the other’s debt. If the debt exceeds the scope of daily household expenses, then the creditor must prove the purpose of the money. When the purpose of the debt is determined not to have been used for family life or joint business, then one spouse does not need to repay the other’s debt.
Did one spouse sign a joint repayment agreement?
As long as you signed a joint repayment agreement, you must repay your husband’s debt. Even if the money was used for frivolous spending, once you sign, there is no turning back. At the moment of signing, even if it was just to maintain the marital relationship or you did not fully understand the terms of the agreement, it does not affect the legal effect of the signature.
Did you promise to repay the debt together?
When the debtor borrows money, if one spouse is unaware of the borrowing, and later the creditor comes to collect, did you promise to repay together? If you agreed with the creditor that you would repay the debt together with your spouse, then this debt will become joint debt.

Finally, an additional point: if the husband provides a guarantee for a third party, does the debt belong to joint debt?
If the husband provides a guarantee for someone else unrelated to his business, just to help a friend, it is unfair for the wife to bear the debt. The law stipulates that if one spouse provides a guarantee for a third party, and the debt is unrelated to the couple's livelihood, the guaranteed debt is considered personal debt and should be repaid from personal assets, not as joint debt.
Conversely, if the guaranteed debt is related to the family’s livelihood, such as if the family company needs a bank loan and the husband, as a shareholder, becomes the guarantor, then the debt incurred from the guarantee will be considered joint debt.

So, how can a full-time housewife protect herself?
Methods include the following:

Pay attention to the family's financial situation.
Understand how much your husband earns in a year and what assets he has.
Reasonably allocate property.
When registering family property, it is best to evenly distribute property rights; some assets should be registered in the husband's name, while others should be registered in the wife's name, and investments should also be made in the wife's name. This way, in the event of a divorce, the full-time housewife will not be in a situation where she does not even know the name and address of the company her husband runs. Such women find it difficult to obtain real protection and assistance.
Learn to use financial tools to establish passive income.
For example, full-time housewives can prepare annuities, pensions, and education funds for their children. If this awareness can be established at the beginning of the marriage, saving a little each year will ensure that if conflicts arise between the couple, they will not be left without a means of survival.

Couples can only agree on two directions regarding property:
The first direction is to designate personal property before marriage as joint property.
The second direction is to designate joint property as individual property.
For example, if you bought a house before marriage and it is registered in your name, as long as you are willing to change it, you can designate the house as joint property. Or if during the marriage you and your husband saved 100,000 yuan together, this money should be considered joint property. However, the law allows you to designate this 100,000 yuan of joint property as 50,000 yuan for each party, as individual property. You can also designate this 100,000 yuan as belonging solely to one party. You can designate part of the couple's property as joint property and another part as individual property.
When signing a property agreement, avoid a common misconception: do not think that designating the man's pre-marital property as the woman's personal property constitutes a property agreement. This act is essentially a gift, transferring the man's pre-marital personal property to the woman. Why is this not a property agreement? Because according to the law, couples can agree that property acquired during the marriage and pre-marital property will be jointly owned or partially owned by each party. There has never been a provision allowing one party's pre-marital property to be designated as belonging to the other party.
A property agreement can only designate pre-marital property as jointly owned or individually owned; it cannot designate the man's pre-marital property as solely owned by the woman (to achieve this effect, a gift notarization must be done, or a direct gift transfer must occur).
Many may find this regulation abstract. Let me give a vivid example. Xiao Liu has a Mercedes-Benz. To show loyalty to his girlfriend Xiao Wang and expedite their marriage, he agrees that the Mercedes-Benz will belong to Xiao Wang. This is a typical gift behavior, not a property agreement.
If Xiao Liu and Xiao Wang agree that after marriage, the Mercedes-Benz will be joint property, or that Xiao Liu owns 30% and Xiao Wang owns 70%, then this is a property agreement.
What is the difference between a property agreement and a gift? The biggest difference is that the giver has the right to revoke the gift at will. Because of this right to revoke, some men write such an agreement before marriage, designating a house they owned before marriage as belonging to the woman. However, if the couple's relationship deteriorates two or three years later, and the woman presents this agreement to demand the transfer of the house, it is unlikely to succeed. Because this agreement is essentially a gift, where the man has transferred a house he owned before marriage to the woman in the form of a property agreement. You only enjoy the legal effect of the gift agreement and must comply with the provisions of the contract law regarding gift contracts. If the man regrets his gift of the house, he enjoys the right to revoke it, and the law does not support the woman's request for the transfer based on the property agreement.

To summarize, a property agreement is a very useful tool that can protect the rights of full-time housewives, but it is essential to understand its limits. A property agreement has two limits: first, it can designate one party's property as joint property; second, it can designate pre-marital and post-marital property as belonging to each party, or partially owned by each party and partially jointly owned. One cannot designate one party's pre-marital property as belonging to the other party; this is not an agreement but a gift. Unless the other party directly transfers the property to you, they can exercise the right to revoke.

What should you pay attention to when adding a name to a property certificate?
Some husbands, to show loyalty to their wives, will add their wives' names to the property certificate of a house purchased before marriage. Some women believe that as long as their names are on the property certificate, they will definitely receive half of the property. In reality, having your name on the property certificate does not guarantee that you will receive 50% of the property.
Meimei is 29 years old and has recently been dating a man of the same age. He is a soldier and will be transitioning out of the military at the end of the year.
While their relationship is good in many aspects, the issue of the marital home has been troubling Meimei. Before their marriage, the boyfriend's parents bought a house in full, registered in the name of the boyfriend's mother. However, Meimei feels that this makes her feel insecure about their marriage, as it seems to treat her as an outsider. She wants to know if adding her name to the property certificate after marriage would be meaningful and if she could obtain half of the property rights.
From a legal perspective, adding a spouse's name to a house purchased before marriage is a legal act. Adding a spouse's name indicates that the other party is willing to convert what was originally their property into jointly owned property. However, once it becomes jointly owned property, does that mean it will definitely be divided equally? Not necessarily, because there are two ways to add a name to the property certificate. The first way is to simply add the name, making the house jointly owned. The second way is to add the name and specify the percentage of ownership. These two different methods of adding a name will result in different shares of property during division.
The first method is to directly add your name without specifying the share. In this case, if the couple later divorces, you might receive 10%, 20%, 30%, 40%, or 50% of the house. Why is there such a large discrepancy in the share? Because the judge will consider factors such as the length of the marriage, whether children were born, each party's contributions to the family, and which party's fault led to the divorce. The judge will weigh these factors together and ultimately determine the share of the property. If the couple's marriage is very short and no children have been born, the judge may likely award you only 10%. If the couple has been married for many years and has children, and the divorce is due to both parties' reasons, the judge may consider that they have contributed to the family over a long period and may award you 50% of the property.
The second method of adding a name involves directly specifying the percentage of ownership for each party. In the event of a divorce, the couple will divide the property according to the pre-agreed percentages.

Returning to Meimei's case, since the husband's property is currently registered in his mother's name, it is best to first transfer the house to the husband's name before adding Meimei's name. This is because transferring the property from the mother-in-law to the daughter-in-law does not enjoy tax benefits, while transferring from the son to his wife can enjoy certain tax benefits.
In contrast, when adding a name to the property certificate, it is best to specify the percentage of ownership for both parties at the time of addition to avoid unnecessary troubles in the future.

In real life, this scenario plays out repeatedly. So, what measures should be taken when a spouse cheats?
At the very least, you should do the following:
First, calm down as quickly as possible and quickly sort out your demands.
Do you want to quickly repair the cracks in the marital relationship and salvage the impending broken marriage, or do you want to maximize the couple's joint property, find ways to preserve pre-marital property? Or successfully fight for custody of the children? Make the cheating spouse and the third party pay the price? If your goal is to fight for property and custody, then you should immediately find a professional marriage lawyer to intervene in your case and follow the guidance of professionals for the next steps. If you want to salvage the marriage, you must learn to control your emotions and not push the other party too hard to avoid counterproductive results.
Second, learn to hide your thoughts and do not let the other party know that you have discovered their infidelity.
A classic line from the American movie "The Godfather" states: "Never let your opponent know what you are thinking." In dealing with infidelity, from the many infidelity cases I have handled, it is evident that there is also intense competition in these cases. Women often find themselves in a disadvantaged position in this competition. For the weaker party, the best choice is to avoid alarming the enemy. Because once the other party knows your intentions, they will quickly destroy evidence or even transfer assets, which will complicate your subsequent evidence collection and litigation.
Third, quickly ascertain the other party's financial situation.
Once you have decided to resolve the issue through legal means, you must start collecting evidence and clarify the other party's financial status. For example, the other party's house, car, savings, company profits, debts, and credits. If you can transfer these assets to your name, you should do so quickly or preserve the evidence well.
Fourth, manage your own assets properly.
After discovering your spouse's infidelity, it is best to consolidate all your pre-marital assets. For example, the marital home, car, betrothal gifts, dowry, savings, etc. If your assets are mixed with your spouse's assets, you should separate them to avoid asset confusion.
Fifth, find the right timing to collect evidence.
In handling infidelity cases, the most important thing is to collect and preserve evidence, which is also the most challenging aspect of such cases. Therefore, finding the right timing to collect evidence is crucial. When is the best time to collect evidence? It is when the other party knows that you have discovered their infidelity. At this point, even if the other party appears calm on the surface, they will definitely be panicking inside. If you record evidence or sign a property agreement at this moment, you are likely to achieve the desired outcome. Once the other party adjusts their mindset, they will become wary of you and protect their assets, making it more difficult to collect evidence later.
After completing the above tasks, you will have gained the upper hand in dealing with the infidelity issue. Whether you choose to divorce through litigation or by agreement, you will have significant operational space. If you choose litigation, you will have sufficient evidence; if you choose to divorce by agreement, you will have more negotiation leverage. Whether it is fighting for custody, property rights, debts, or compensation, you will be in an invincible position. Compared to the general chaos that people experience after discovering infidelity, or throwing tantrums, you will clearly be in a more advantageous position.

Chat records
WeChat chat records, SMS chat records—these pieces of evidence are both commonly used and the hardest to effectively secure.
Some may think, "Isn't it just WeChat chat records? Just take a screenshot; what's so hard about that?" Little do they know that many people collect evidence with this mindset, resulting in the evidence they painstakingly gather being completely invalid. This is because screenshots are too easy to forge or frame.
The correct method of evidence collection is as follows:
Step 1: Use your own phone to open the recording function, focus on their chat record interface, and record the WeChat account information, WeChat name, WeChat ID (which can only be changed once a year, making it more identifiable), the specific bound phone number, and the chat content, ensuring that the account and content correspond one-to-one. The recording process must not be cut or interrupted.
Step 2: If you discover your husband with inappropriate videos or ambiguous photos with a third party, immediately forward them to your phone and delete the forwarding traces to avoid being discovered by the parties involved.
Step 3: When recording WeChat chat videos, you must record the WeChat ID and bound phone number, which can be used to retrieve WeChat's consumption and transfer records and to prove that the user of WeChat is indeed your husband.
Step 4: The video must capture the entire chat window of WeChat, not just a portion of the chat record. Additionally, the video resolution must be high to ensure clarity.
Step 5: Check if there are any usable pieces of evidence in the other party's Moments or favorites. If there are relevant pieces of evidence, save them to your phone immediately.
Step 6: Voice messages should ideally be playable and transcribed into text.
Step 7: To facilitate judicial identification, it is essential to keep the original video files and recording devices safe to avoid loss or damage.

Videos and photos
There are two methods for collecting and securing this type of evidence: first, either you or someone else can track the other party and the third party, taking photos and videos after witnessing their intimate actions. Second, find photos and videos saved by the other party that involve the third party. Compared to tracking and taking photos or videos, finding already taken files is evidently simpler. The methods for searching for such evidence are as follows:
Step 1: Check your spouse's phone album, WeChat favorites, Moments, and chat records, and forward or save them.
Step 2: Find the folders or hidden files on the other party's computer and save them to your mobile device.
Step 3: Log into cloud storage, QQ, or email using the other party's phone number to search for relevant videos and photos.
Once you find such photos, save them immediately to your external hard drive or USB drive. It is best not to use a low-spec phone to save or take photos or videos, as this may result in blurry images that cannot clearly identify who is involved.
In the process of collecting evidence, adhere to the principles of authenticity, reasonableness, and relevance; do not use coercion, force, or intimidation to illegally obtain evidence; do not casually expose or leak personal privacy.

"Life is a walled city; those outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out." Qian Zhongshu expressed the sentiments of many in his book "Fortress Besieged."
From a distance, even the most beautiful family appears to be a mess upon closer inspection.

Girls must ask clearly before marrying anyone#

Future housing issues
Housing issues involve mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships and economic pressures.
Future career planning
If marriage requires giving up some ideals, to what extent can one give up?
A series of issues regarding children
When to have children, who will take care of them, the costs of raising children, and future education.
Issues concerning both families
Any issues present in each other's families of origin should be communicated to avoid suppressing them until they explode.
Loyalty towards marriage
What level of contact with the opposite sex can be accepted? Clearly state your bottom line in advance.
Acceptance of each other's friends
The choice of friends is likely to significantly influence future life paths.
Financial situations of both parties
Personal asset situations, debt situations, and management of property after marriage.
Consumption views of both parties
Differences in consumption views will directly affect the marriage.
Living habits of both parties
Many failed marriages are ruined by details.
How to divide household chores
Who will be responsible for cooking and cleaning? Seemingly trivial matters can become the root of relationship erosion.
Attitudes towards arguments
If an argument occurs, can it be moderated? Fairly addressing each other's thoughts and complaints.
What are each other's strengths and weaknesses?
Disclose your strengths and weaknesses before marriage to determine if the other party is the best marriage candidate.
Any medical history
Including both physical and mental health issues.
What are personal bottom lines?
What principles cannot be abandoned for the sake of marriage?