Making a living and seeking love

Everyone has their own scale in their hearts and their own standards. Each person's experiences are different, and so their definitions of love will also differ.

The Philosophy of Love Debate#

Lies begin with questions, not answers.
Conditions for true love: presenting one's true self + the result of free choice.
Only the realization of good will is true free will; in this case, a person transcends their instrumental nature and achieves a pure purpose of realizing goodness. This kind of love (the pursuit of the essence of love, rather than viewing people as tools) is rooted in the heart.
Treating people as concrete, complete individuals rather than as layers of social identities is the love that truly affirms the dignity of the other and soothes the deep loneliness within.
If one believes from the start that true love is a lie, they may fall into the trap of self-fulfilling prophecy, concluding that true love is a lie, and vice versa; love is a continuous promotion of the act and feeling of love.
The greatest insecurity in a person lies in having great freedom, so they seek to provide themselves with a sense of stability through the concept of true love to eliminate the immense fear that freedom brings. If one can overcome this psychological barrier and believe that true love is a lie, they will understand that insecurity, desolation, and shortcomings are all part of love.
"Life is like being in a cave; if you feel loved once, loneliness is no longer fate." - Love is a kind of ambiguous understanding of emotional needs, a debate of ideas. The feeling of nostalgia, love is the imagination of a young girl's heart, subjective feelings are heartbeats and judgments; this smile tells people that love is this subjective happiness, the beauty of interactive relationships. The world has no unrequited love; there is only understanding of thoughts, resonance in language, and emotional interaction. The essence, logic, thinking, and words of love generate the strongest chemical reactions, and that laughter for a soft life is not the sinking of free will, but a conscious rush towards you. Love must be an emotional autonomous choice of will, a conscious act of mutual behavior, a departure from the disguise of one's own emotions to invest in a super-ego love. Love is to respect the other as a subject.
Love is a selfish, primitive expression of genes.
Assuming true love exists 1: This is determined by our survival.
Assuming true love exists 2: Love is a two-way event choice; love stimulates creativity and debate.
Assuming true love exists 3: The object of love is the interaction of perceived emotions and psychological flow, but love exists; otherwise, the history of humanity cannot be continued. The pursuit of true love seems to be an unremitting effort engraved in human life; people cannot suppress this impulsive urge. Of course, people are destined to be disappointed and hurt time and again. Love is finding a specific shining person among a limited group; the range of selectable objects most people encounter is randomly composed of fixed ideas that do not participate in events, forming specific perceptual insights. This selected living range has its own participation, but most is not determined by one's own efforts. Love relates to personal privacy, individuality, uniqueness, and ownership. What is love? Is it a product of the family environment, or does it truly exist in the mutual attraction of thoughts? Scientists can bravely disregard everything to question themselves for it.
The romantic colors presented by literary works always show the latter; however, this "unreasoned" sincerity increasingly appears to be ethereal. It is often said that love is pure and beautiful, yet the influence of reality factors often outweighs our imagination. If there is no beautiful exterior, if life is about to approach death... can we still rely on this love? Most people believe for the sake of believing; in reality, material is the root of these consciousnesses. Even if we always want to shine, people cannot lie to hormones and desires. Affection and friendship, emotions generated by real relationships, sound less "pure." Love does not refer to a fixed person, is not a static concept, and is certainly not projecting a perfect fantasy onto the other. True love allows oneself to experience emotional and emotional changes and growth, "building love around life, rather than building life around true love." The concept of love itself is a rejection and dissatisfaction with various random desires surrounding it; because choosing to become a person who does not cater to them, love presents itself as a resonance of one thought to another equally critical longing.

Love is often a very short-lived "thing." Encountering true perfect love is just a relatively uncertain probability. Not everyone can encounter love, and not everyone needs love. Yes, you heard it right; these words can easily make people feel disappointed. Perhaps a large portion of people in this world will never experience so-called unwavering love throughout their lives, yet they still survive, still give birth and raise children, and propagate their descendants.

The first point is to love oneself immensely. Love your body, love your figure, love your voice, love your hobbies, love your thoughts. You must learn to like yourself, focus on yourself, and truly become yourself.

Becoming better is the key to solving all problems. I hope all girls learn to focus on themselves, on their work and careers. Once you have a certain financial foundation, you can spend appropriately on yourself. First, manage yourself well, maintain a good state, and naturally, you will not feel anxious about marriage. Because you are already certain that you are good enough, you have given yourself enough security, and there is no need to seek it from the other party. Only when both parties are in a state of balance can they manage their marriage well. Otherwise, no matter who you marry, the final result will be the same.

From a legal and economic perspective, the family formed by marriage can be likened to a partnership enterprise. Both spouses are shareholders in this enterprise, bearing both internal and external risks while also enjoying the profits of the partnership. Of course, doing business and running an enterprise also requires preparation for dissolution; managing a romantic relationship or marriage should be no different.

Whether in love or marriage, one must learn to insure oneself in advance. This is not to calculate the other party but to maximize the protection of our personal and property safety. We must know that most marriage disputes can be avoided. This is also the original intention of writing this book, hoping that everyone can make more rational decisions regarding emotions and marriage, avoiding regrets. Even if you choose not to marry, you must learn to protect yourself, so as not to suffer negative impacts on your life due to sudden risks.

The importance of the original family
Examining what the other party's original family is like is an important dimension in judging whether a boyfriend is suitable for marriage. Before deciding whether to marry your partner, you can meet his parents to understand his original family environment and how his parents interact with each other. Whether the other party's parents are divorced is not the point; the key is whether they can still get along peacefully like friends or relatives even after divorce. Is the family filled with goodwill and care, or is it filled with hatred and resentment? Before marriage, you must have more contact with the other party's parents. When communicating with the other party's parents, you can understand his growth process and judge the marriage model after marriage.

The habitual software of the human brain during the growth process. When we buy a new computer from the mall, it only has a skeleton and hardware; this computer cannot be used. We need to install the system software and operating system on this computer to use it normally. When we are born, we are like a bare machine; if no one installs the system software for you, you cannot grow. Do you know who programmed your system software? The answer is parents, the family. For example, whether to eat with chopsticks or knives and forks, the way of speaking, language expression habits, the way of greeting people when interacting, whether to speak politely, whether to treat others with humility. For example, not lying, not taking others' things, and taking responsibility for one's own mistakes are all the initial system software. If this system software has defects, it is easy to have bugs. Once there are bugs, it is easy to have problems in the process of living with others, and such problems are often difficult to reconcile.

Evaluating his values
In addition to the original family, it is best to understand his colleagues and friends. Occasionally organize some gatherings with friends, such as singing, barbecuing, traveling, etc. During the gathering, observe what entertainment activities he has with his friends and what kind of interaction he has with them. At the same time, listen to his evaluations of his friends, which can reflect his outlook on life.

Listen to his views on money
Additionally, you should pay special attention to his views on money. The maintenance of marriage cannot be separated from the property protection mechanism, and the other party's views on money will directly affect the handling of property issues in marriage. Therefore, you need to consider the following questions: Does your boyfriend place great importance on money? When he needs to give up some of his financial interests, is he generous or stingy? If your boyfriend values small benefits or refuses to share his wealth, then marrying such a person may lead to conflicts over small property issues, which could seriously lead to the breakdown of the marriage.

Evaluating stress tests
When looking for a partner, it is essential to find someone emotionally stable. Emotional stability is a particularly valuable quality in a man because when he is emotionally stable, you feel secure every time he goes out driving, knowing he can handle any situation. You won't worry that he will frequently have conflicts with others; even if he occasionally has disagreements, he will understand how to resolve them gracefully.

Of course, in addition to the four observation dimensions mentioned above, there are also some general standards, such as the other party's physical health status, credit report, whether there are hereditary diseases and mental illnesses in the family, etc. By comprehensively analyzing the information observed, you can clearly outline the state of your married life. Of course, all the above judgment criteria are not absolute; no one can measure who is suitable as a partner and who is not like a ruler. The following measures may help you eliminate some obvious wrong answers.

A person's growth experience will leave a deep imprint on them, like a plum blossom imprint. Perhaps we only realize this imprint on ourselves after meeting countless people and experiencing countless things throughout our lives. Once we see this plum blossom imprint clearly, we can understand what we want. At this point, a person lives transparently, no longer being bound by the people and things around them.

99% of a person's troubles come from interpersonal relationships, and dealing with these relationships will continuously consume your energy. Only by saving enough money can you refuse job invitations you don't like and avoid unproductive social interactions. One day, when you have enough wealth, you will have enough confidence to refuse others' unreasonable demands, thus avoiding all the interpersonal relationships you dislike and solving 99% of your troubles.

Having both love and bread is naturally better. However, when faced with the choice between love and making money, when the two cannot be perfectly balanced, do not easily give up your career, nor easily give up your opportunity to earn money.

If you choose to marry a man whose living environment is vastly different from yours, I suggest you prepare comprehensively in all aspects. You might as well visit your boyfriend's hometown to see his living environment with your own eyes and truly experience his living habits. Because in the future, during holidays or when you have children and need your mother-in-law's help, his family's values and hygiene habits will inevitably become part of your life. If you feel that you can fully accept it and have made all preparations, then consider whether to marry.

Thirdly, if you are "climbing high," you must have self-awareness. Compared to "marrying down," more girls may choose to "climb high." Young girls with good looks and personalities may encounter a well-off man and achieve financial freedom through marriage, and such cases are common. The problem is that after enjoying this good life for a while, some girls may easily forget the path they took to get here, losing the correct judgment of their self-worth, binding their husband's abilities to their own, thinking, "The reason he is doing so well in business now is because of me; maybe it's because I bring him luck." If you think this way, you lack self-awareness.

For girls who are climbing high in economic conditions, they must live with a grateful heart, feeling lucky to live this way. They must not think that just because they married him, and because they have a marriage certificate, everything he has now naturally belongs to you, and all the money he earns now is yours.

You must understand that all relationships are maintained through mutual needs. In the past, your youth and beauty, gentleness, and thoughtfulness may have been your value, but as time goes on, these "dividends" will gradually disappear. If you still think everything is taken for granted and do not take the initiative to enhance and improve yourself early on in your comfort zone, how can you maintain a marriage for the long term?

We need to accumulate other advantages and strengths that are not deprived by time, such as whether you are good at managing a household, whether you are good at organizing banquets, whether you can maintain good relationships with your husband's business partners' families, or whether you have learned a lot of family education theories and methods to take good care of children. Or whether your financial management skills are strong enough to manage your family's assets well?

To live well, you must first have self-awareness, know what value you have, what contributions you can make to the family, and what support and assistance you can provide to the man you live with.

Choosing a partner based solely on conditions is not advisable. After all, "Do not underestimate the young and poor." Many girls have encountered men with good character and abilities, and both have worked hard together, living harmoniously. Moreover, many girls want to be a "nurturing girlfriend," working hard together with their boyfriends, starting from scratch. Or some girls originally have good incomes and only need someone who treats them well, regardless of the other person's income.

These are all choices without right or wrong, without superiority or inferiority. However, if you encounter a person who is good to you but economically inferior and not very capable, I have a few suggestions for everyone:

Do not rush to get a marriage certificate.
Do not get pregnant before marriage.
Test the relationship for a while, and definitely live together to see if you can get along harmoniously and whether there are any gaps in values.
Within a reasonable range, spend a little of his money to see if he will mind.
When he asks to be intimate with you, if you happen to refuse him because you are in a bad mood, observe how he reacts.
Observe how he behaves when he gets angry.
Observe how he behaves when he is drunk.
If the whole family plays mahjong for entertainment during the New Year, observe how he reacts when he loses. This reflects his mental health, character, abilities, and his starting point for dating you. Therefore, I suggest girls try living with their boyfriends for 3 to 5 months to thoroughly assess their true character.

When dating, if you encounter such a person, do you need to return the gifts he gave you?
From a legal perspective, whether gifts received during a relationship need to be returned should be viewed from the following three dimensions:

What is the purpose of giving the gift?
What kind of gift is it? Can this gift be considered a betrothal gift?
What is the value and amount of the gift?
The direct meaning of breaking up with a lover is that they do not want to marry the other party. In this case, there is only one type of gift that the law requires to be returned, which is the betrothal gift. Betrothal gifts are gifts given to the other party for the purpose of marriage. For example, in some rural areas, the man must give the woman gold earrings, gold rings, and gold necklaces when getting married. This is generally recognized by law as a gift given for the purpose of marriage. As long as you do not want to marry the person, these "three golds" must be returned to them.

This needs to consider the following factors:

The size of the value. If the boyfriend bought a bag worth 200,000 yuan, then you are likely to have to return the gift.
The value of the gift should be compared with the income level of the giver. If the other party is a billionaire boss and bought you a bag worth several tens of thousands of yuan, it may not be recognized as a betrothal gift, and there is no need to return it upon breaking up. In determining whether it is recognized as a betrothal gift, the judge has a lot of discretion.
According to local customs, if the received gift is recognized as a betrothal gift, it must be returned if you do not marry the person.
Anything not explicitly stipulated by law is at the discretion of the judge. The law stipulates that if both parties are not married, the betrothal gift must be returned. However, the law does not explicitly define what constitutes a betrothal gift, which requires the judge to make a comprehensive judgment based on the specific facts of the case, the amount of the betrothal gift, the income status of the man, the preparation for the wedding, and the local economic level and customs.

Techniques for Prenuptial Property Agreements#

Prenuptial property agreements are a topic of great concern, and there are many misconceptions about them. For example, many people think that prenuptial property agreements can only stipulate property before marriage, which is incorrect. Although the agreement is called a prenuptial property agreement and is generally signed before marriage, this agreement can stipulate both pre-marital and post-marital property. It can stipulate that property owned before marriage belongs to the couple jointly, or that property obtained after marriage belongs to one person, or that part belongs to one person while another part belongs to both.

When stipulating pre-marital property, one can list in detail what property they own before marriage and clarify how the appreciation, price increase, rental income, and cash obtained from selling those properties after marriage should be allocated. It can even specify the intended use of post-marital property, such as if the house I put a down payment on before marriage needs my spouse's signature to sell in the future, the other party should cooperate unconditionally and not refuse to sign, and what responsibilities the other party should bear if they refuse to sign. Entrepreneurs especially need to pay attention to how the equity obtained from a company established before marriage, dividends generated after marriage, stock appreciation, and cash obtained from selling stocks after marriage should be allocated; these details can be specified in detail before marriage.

How Should One Conduct Due Diligence When Choosing a Wife?#

I. Introduction

A while ago, an article went viral online titled "What Valuation Method to Use When Choosing a Husband." This article provided practical reference methods for women to choose husbands from a female perspective and sparked widespread resonance. As the saying goes, "When soldiers come, generals block; when water comes, soil covers." Not only do women need correct valuation methods when choosing husbands, but men must also have certain evaluation criteria when choosing wives, which is conducive to the harmonious development of society and mutual benefit.

From the moment a man is born, he embarks on a path of entrepreneurship, which essentially involves managing himself, as well as managing his family, work, and life. When entrepreneurship reaches a certain stage, most men need to bring in external investors—namely, their female partners—to help manage their entrepreneurial ventures.

From this perspective, "men seek beauty, women seek wealth" makes some sense, but men also pursue women's "talents." Here, "talents" may not necessarily refer to women's material wealth but could also mean life skills and emotional support. Therefore, we agree that the combination of men and women is based on material, but the true pursuit of marriage is spiritual.

As the article "What Valuation Method to Use When Choosing a Husband" metaphorically suggests, women choosing husbands is like venture capitalists selecting investment companies, balancing risk and return. In fact, men choosing wives is also akin to entrepreneurs selecting venture capitalists, which involves an assessment of returns and risks. Once you take the money from a venture capitalist, the investor becomes your shareholder, expecting certain results from your daily operations and business strategies, providing suggestions, and even influencing your management authority.

If you choose the wrong investor, not only will a man's entrepreneurial path not improve, but it may also lead to directional errors and wasted efforts. The investor may even turn against you, taking away your management rights and bringing in external managers. Your entrepreneurial endeavors could be ruined, and your reputation could be tarnished.

Based on this, we suggest that men should also carefully choose their investors and conduct due diligence on potential investors, ensuring they select investors that align with their long-term development needs. If not suitable, it is better to delay bringing in investors and rely on self-development. Below, we provide specific operational suggestions.

II. Classification of Investors

As entrepreneurs, one must attend a class on understanding the different classifications and investment preferences of investors. According to the classification in "What Valuation Method to Use When Choosing a Husband," women can be divided into three main investment models:

The vast majority of women belong to relatively mature VC investors, whose investment targets are men with basic profitability and high growth potential.
Some women act as angel investors, willing to choose a man who is poor and has no future.
A small number of women focus only on premium blue-chip stocks, i.e., men with peak profitability, such as wealthy heirs and top billionaires. These investors often possess extreme capital (e.g., stunning beauties, movie stars, beauty pageant winners), but competition among investors is fierce, and most end up with nothing, even if successful, they cannot hold controlling shares.

There are no PE investment-type women focused on pre-IPO. Once a man goes public, although the market value of the shares he holds may skyrocket, he cannot hold 100% of the shares exclusively, and the battles among shareholders can be intense. Therefore, while such situations are common, they are not the original intention of female investors.

III. Valuation of Men

Valuation is the cornerstone of investment success. Here are a few basic valuation methods for the vast majority of female investors to reference:

Price-to-Earnings Ratio Valuation
Current value valuation must be combined with the concept of price-to-earnings ratio. The price-to-earnings ratio is the ratio of a man's market price to his earnings:
Price-to-Earnings Ratio = Market Price / Earnings
For example, if other female investors are willing to pay a total discounted price of 1 million yuan for a man whose EBITDA (Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation, and Amortization) is 100,000 yuan this year, then the man's price-to-earnings ratio is 10 times.
Valuation logic: Refer to the industry average price-to-earnings ratio. That is, see how many times other female investors are willing to pay for men with similar professions and incomes. If the average is greater than 10, the man is undervalued; if less than 10, he is overvalued.
Note: If the man is particularly handsome, humorous, considerate, artistic, or cultured, a certain premium can be added to the price-to-earnings ratio. It is generally not advisable to overprice, as these factors are too subjective and difficult to quantify and sustain.
Value + Growth Valuation Formula
A man with enormous investment value must be a combination of value and growth, and combining the two valuation methods avoids the static nature of price-to-earnings ratio valuation. A very simple formula is as follows:
(Value + Growth within One Year) / 2 = Current Value
Expanded to:
(Current Year Performance × Price-to-Earnings Ratio + Next Year Projected Performance × Price-to-Earnings Ratio) / 2 = Current Value
For example, if a man's income in 2007 was 100,000 yuan, and the projected income for 2008 is 120,000 yuan, and the industry average price-to-earnings ratio is 15 times, if he is very handsome, humorous, gentle, and considerate, we can estimate a higher ratio of 3-5 times, calculating at 20 times:
(100,000 × 20 + 120,000 × 20) / 2 = 2.2 million yuan.
Then look at his market price; if other women are only willing to invest 1 million yuan in resources to acquire him, you are practically picking up money on the street, decisively investing 1.2 million yuan and not shorting; within the fluctuation adjustment range of 1.2-1.8 million yuan, you should maintain a flirtatious relationship; if it exceeds 2 million yuan, you should sell, and do not consider future growth; if you offer a high price, you will be trapped.

However, everyone should remember that this algorithm is only applicable to men who currently have value. Those without stable income, unemployed, or whose careers are declining should be ignored. Value + growth, one cannot be missing. Additionally, if you want to calculate the expected growth of the man over more than three years, you should consider the risk-free rate of return and inflation factors, choosing a reasonable discount rate for discounting. Due to its complexity, it will not be elaborated here.

Yield Rate Valuation Method
This valuation method is also known as the "Comparable Coefficient" method, which simply applies some standard coefficients to determine a man's value. The basic theoretical foundation of this valuation is that a man's income will not all be used on women; the reasonable returns that women can enjoy are more meaningful to female investors.
First, how to define a man's income is crucial. There are currently various definitions, including: Free Cash Flow EBITDA, Earnings Before Interest and Taxes (EBIT), After-Tax Earnings (EAT), and Earnings After Interest, Taxes, Depreciation, and Amortization (EAITDA). To avoid valuation bias for female investors, it is recommended to use EAITAD, which stands for Earning after interest, tax, depreciation, and amortization.
Yield Rate = Actual Payment Yield / EAITAD
For example, if a man's annual income after paying credit card interest, car and housing loan interest, taxes, supporting parents and siblings, giving gifts to leaders, smoking, drinking, and entertaining, as well as depreciation of previously purchased durable consumer goods, is 20,000 yuan, and the money spent on you this year (including meals, gifts, travel, dates, hotel rooms, etc.) is 15,000 yuan, then:
Yield Capitalization Rate = 15,000 / 20,000 = 0.75
If your yield rate with your previous boyfriend was 0.5, then this man is valued higher; if the industry average yield rate (similar to your female investors' yield) is between 0.1-0.3, then this man is rated as a buy; if the average yield rate is above 0.8, then this man is rated as a sell.
Asset-Based Valuation Method
Asset valuation is currently quite popular, that is, valuing a man based on the value of his existing assets. There are many ways to value assets, including Fair Market Value, Fair Value, Book Value, and Liquidation Value.
Female investors are relatively familiar with this valuation method, and I would like to remind you of a few key valuation elements:
a. Liquidity Discount
For the assets a man possesses, detailed analysis is required. For example, if he holds a large number of restricted assets, such as restricted trading stocks, they should be multiplied by the corresponding discount coefficient.
For example, if a man holds equity in a company worth 20 million yuan but cannot trade, and the average discount coefficient for restricted trading stocks is 33%, then the actual value of that part of the asset for the man is 20 million * 0.33 = 6.6 million yuan.

b. Book Value vs. Fair Value
For example, if a man purchased an Audi car for 600,000 yuan in 2008 and a house in Changning District, Shanghai for 2 million yuan, then based on the market fair value (assuming the car depreciates by 50% within the next year and the property appreciates by 200%), the calculation would be:
Current Book Value = 600,000 + 2,000,000 = 2,600,000 yuan
Actual Valuation within the Next Year = 600,000 * (1 - 0.5) + 2,000,000 * (1 + 2) = 6,300,000 yuan
Thus, a female investor investing the equivalent of 2.6 million yuan in resources to acquire this man would obtain an asset premium return of 3.7 million yuan within the next year. Therefore, a man without a house is not a good investment, while a man with a house has a very good asset premium outlook.

c. Financial Statement Pitfalls
The greatest risk of valuing based on book value comes from inadequate analysis of a man's financial statements. Special attention should be paid to the following items:
"Non-Recurring Gains and Losses." For example, if a man claims an annual income of 100,000 yuan, but this includes 50,000 yuan from a stroke of luck picking up money on the street, that income is not sustainable.
"Main Business Profit" / "Operating Profit." For example, if a man earns 60,000 yuan as a consulting advisor and 100,000 yuan from singing at night, then it is necessary to check what his main business actually is to determine the appropriate industry average price-to-earnings ratio for valuation.
Separating investment-related gains and losses and assets. Engaging in stock trading, real estate, futures, gold, foreign exchange, art, treasury bonds, and antique furniture should all be considered high-risk activities. When valuing, relevant items should be separated to avoid risks. — There are many techniques for analyzing financial statements, which are too numerous to detail here.

IV. The Art of Investment

As previously mentioned, once an investor provides an investment letter of intent, the investor and entrepreneur often enter into negotiations regarding the details of the investment. Especially concerning the valuation of the company, shareholding ratio, board setup, dividend, and redemption clauses, both parties will engage in various bargaining, which is a battle of wits and courage.

1. Valuation and Negotiation Chips

Investors will evaluate you through various means, including but not limited to the four methods mentioned earlier. Men will try to raise their valuation level in negotiations, essentially selling themselves at a good price. Therefore, men first need to understand what negotiation chips they possess.

A) Self-Assessment.

We suggest that men first objectively assess their value in the overall market. If a man's various conditions are above the market average, we recommend that he can raise his asking price during negotiations. If his conditions are poor, we suggest lowering the threshold or continuing to work hard for some additional points. Generally speaking, a property located in the city center can instantly elevate you from the bottom 10% of the market to defeat 90% of competitors.

Similarly, men should also self-assess whether they are in an upward or downward value trajectory. The correct investment method is to sell high and buy low, but this only exists in ideal conditions. Most female investors prefer investment targets that are on the rise. For men temporarily in a downward trajectory, many women often appear very shortsighted. This is related to the innate aversion to risk that most female investors have; another way to say this characteristic is "lack of security."

Based on this, we suggest that men can raise their asking price when they are in an upward phase, but if they are in a temporary low, they should avoid actively contacting investors because their negotiation chips are very limited at this time.

B) Empathy

The purpose of men empathizing is to understand the pressure and psychological activities that women bear in investment decisions. Most female investors bear the pressure of missing good projects, the pressure of not being able to invest, and the pressure of the fund management deadline approaching. That is, female investors must find a good marriage partner within a limited period and ultimately win in competition.

Smart men can gauge the size of the pressure on the woman through probing and judgment to obtain a reasonable asking price. However, this method does not apply to a small number of investors with excessively long investment periods who do not care about investment results.

Some men also create an illusion of being sought after by many female investors to gain favor. This method may sometimes work, but we do not recommend men imitate it. Because any excessively high valuation will create a value bubble, and when the bubble bursts, it may lead to a breakup.

C) Negotiation Rhythm

The art of negotiation often lies in controlling the rhythm. When male investors actively seek out investors, they often hit a wall because once you take the initiative, you are already in a weak position as the invested party. The correct approach is to attract investors to come to you through advertising, public relations, good reputation, and brand image. At this point, men will have greater negotiation chips.

In the negotiation process between both parties, it is advisable for men not to show excessive enthusiasm at the beginning, as this may give investors the opportunity to lower your valuation. The correct method is to be reasonable and measured, maintaining a balance. However, one should not be too cold or hot, causing investors to lose confidence in you. Of course, necessary proactive engagement is still necessary, provided that men fully understand their negotiation chips.

D) Negotiation Skills

Successful negotiations do not actually involve skills; the key is to maintain a good mindset. We believe that for men, a good mindset is to strive for a higher investment valuation within a reasonable range, but not excessively high. Therefore, men should try to showcase their strengths to female investors, especially those hidden but easily overlooked advantages. As for their shortcomings, men do not need to avoid them, as these are often difficult to escape the due diligence of female investors. However, smart men are good at turning their shortcomings into strengths, for example: being homebody = not going out to flirt, not being romantic = not spending money recklessly, not being handsome enough = safer to take out.

2. Shareholding Ratio and Dividends

With a fixed capital amount, female investors generally hope to obtain as high a shareholding ratio as possible to have sufficient say. Men should understand that equity can be transferred, but controlling rights must remain in their hands; this is the bottom line of negotiation. Once controlling rights are lost, the worst-case scenario is that the man is left with nothing and homeless. At this point, one can only hope to meet another angel investor.

Additionally, the dividend ratio also needs to be agreed upon in advance. Most women understand that their investments are unlikely to exit through an IPO, so they generally require men to share dividends from their salary income, with dividend ratios ranging from 50% to 100%. Maintaining a certain dividend ratio helps maintain a good investor relationship. However, men should also understand that excessive dividends are not conducive to the long-term development of the enterprise, as they may not have enough liquidity for reproduction and may struggle to withstand industry fluctuations. This point is often difficult for female investors to understand, as they generally believe that dividends help men manage funds more effectively and avoid going astray. Therefore, it is advisable for men to reason with women logically and emotionally.

3. Buyback Clauses

Most female investors do not want to see investments being bought back by men, meaning both parties part ways. However, given the many uncertainties in the market and from a rational investment perspective, it is necessary to stipulate buyback clauses in advance, as prenuptial property notarization is necessary, as this clause legally protects the interests of both parties.

However, a considerable number of people express that they cannot accept this emotionally. We believe there are two situations where buyback clauses can be ignored. One is when neither party owns real estate. The second is when both parties are willing to bear the risks that come with investment failure.

4. Exclusivity

The investment letters of intent given by venture capitalists are generally exclusive, meaning they require men to cut off contact with other investors during negotiations to ensure their priority selection rights. This is reasonable from both legal and emotional perspectives. However, as I mentioned earlier, an investment letter of intent cannot be equated with actual investment.

A common situation is that after a woman expresses an investment intention to a man, she ultimately invests in someone else. Due to the exclusivity clause, men often cut off contact with other women at this time, so they have to start over with other investors. More critically, female venture capitalists are generally social creatures; once someone hears that you received an investment intention but ultimately did not receive investment, almost all investors will immediately learn of it and instinctively suspect that your performance has some flaw. This may put men in a very passive position.

For this reason, we advise men to be cautious about exclusivity clauses. When unavoidable, they can also leave themselves a way out through various means. The specific methods are not the focus of this article and will not be elaborated here.

What Valuation Method to Use When Choosing a Husband?#

I. Introduction
From a human nature perspective, the needs of men and women are highly unified: both are attracted to beauty and wealth, with material as the foundation and spirit as the pursuit. Social concepts and rules have changed adult men and women, leading them to develop in different directions: men seek beauty, women seek wealth.

In developed cities in China, including South Korea and Japan, even with a balanced gender ratio, the phenomenon of "leftover women" is extremely common. Except for a few who genuinely do not want to marry, most want to marry but cannot find suitable partners. The essence of this is that there is a concept at play: men and women’s economic income must reach a certain balance for everyone to believe, "Men can marry, women can marry." To put it nicely, it is about what value men must reach for women to consider marrying them, ensuring they do not feel they are losing out. Therefore, when women choose husbands, it is like venture capitalists choosing to acquire companies, balancing risk and return.

It is important to note that this risk investment is absolutely strategic; under normal circumstances, it cannot achieve the exit of ordinary financial investors, and a one-time deal is a classic example of high-risk investment.

In broad terms, women can be divided into three main investment models.

The vast majority of women belong to relatively mature VC investors, whose investment targets are men with basic profitability and high growth potential. Such men are in a development phase in their life cycle, with broad prospects and currently undervalued.
Of course, there are some women who act as angel investors, willing to choose a man who is poor and has no future, but successful cases are rare (a classic success story is Zhuo Wenjun investing in Lin Xiangru over 2000 years ago).
There are also a small number of women who focus only on premium blue-chip stocks, i.e., men with peak profitability, such as wealthy heirs and top billionaires. Most of these investors possess extreme capital (e.g., stunning beauties, movie stars, beauty pageant winners), but competition among investors is fierce and bloody, and most end up with nothing, even if successful, they cannot hold controlling shares.

II. Valuation of Men

Valuation is the cornerstone of investment success. Here are a few basic valuation methods for the vast majority of female investors to reference:

Price-to-Earnings Ratio Valuation
Current value valuation must be combined with the concept of price-to-earnings ratio. The price-to-earnings ratio is the ratio of a man's market price to his earnings:
Price-to-Earnings Ratio = Market Price / Earnings
For example, if other female investors are willing to pay a total discounted price of 1 million yuan for a man whose EBITDA (Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation, and Amortization) is 100,000 yuan this year, then the man's price-to-earnings ratio is 10 times.
Valuation logic: Refer to the industry average price-to-earnings ratio. That is, see how many times other female investors are willing to pay for men with similar professions and incomes. If the average is greater than 10, the man is undervalued; if less than 10, he is overvalued.
Note: If the man is particularly handsome, humorous, considerate, artistic, or cultured, a certain premium can be added to the price-to-earnings ratio. It is generally not advisable to overprice, as these factors are too subjective and difficult to quantify and sustain.
Value + Growth Valuation Formula
A man with enormous investment value must be a combination of value and growth, and combining the two valuation methods avoids the static nature of price-to-earnings ratio valuation. A very simple formula is as follows:
(Value + Growth within One Year) / 2 = Current Value
Expanded to:
(Current Year Performance × Price-to-Earnings Ratio + Next Year Projected Performance × Price-to-Earnings Ratio) / 2 = Current Value
For example, if a man's income in 2007 was 100,000 yuan, and the projected income for 2008 is 120,000 yuan, and the industry average price-to-earnings ratio is 15 times, if he is very handsome, humorous, gentle, and considerate, we can estimate a higher ratio of 3-5 times, calculating at 20 times:
(100,000 × 20 + 120,000 × 20) / 2 = 2.2 million yuan.
Then look at his market price; if other women are only willing to invest 1 million yuan in resources to acquire him, you are practically picking up money on the street, decisively investing 1.2 million yuan and not shorting; within the fluctuation adjustment range of 1.2-1.8 million yuan, you should maintain a flirtatious relationship; if it exceeds 2 million yuan, you should sell, and do not consider future growth; if you offer a high price, you will be trapped.

Yield Rate Valuation Method
This valuation method is also known as the "Comparable Coefficient" method, which simply applies some standard coefficients to determine a man's value. The basic theoretical foundation of this valuation is that a man's income will not all be used on women; the reasonable returns that women can enjoy are more meaningful to female investors.
First, how to define a man's income is crucial. There are currently various definitions, including: Free Cash Flow EBITDA, Earnings Before Interest and Taxes (EBIT), After-Tax Earnings (EAT), and Earnings After Interest, Taxes, Depreciation, and Amortization (EAITDA). To avoid valuation bias for female investors, it is recommended to use EAITAD, which stands for Earning after interest, tax, depreciation, and amortization.
Yield Rate = Actual Payment Yield / EAITAD
For example, if a man's annual income after paying credit card interest, car and housing loan interest, taxes, supporting parents and siblings, giving gifts to leaders, smoking, drinking, and entertaining, as well as depreciation of previously purchased durable consumer goods, is 20,000 yuan, and the money spent on you this year (including meals, gifts, travel, dates, hotel rooms, etc.) is 15,000 yuan, then:
Yield Capitalization Rate = 15,000 / 20,000 = 0.75
If your yield rate with your previous boyfriend was 0.5, then this man is valued higher; if the industry average yield rate (similar to your female investors' yield) is between 0.1-0.3, then this man is rated as a buy; if the average yield rate is above 0.8, then this man is rated as a sell.
Asset-Based Valuation Method
Asset valuation is currently quite popular, that is, valuing a man based on the value of his existing assets. There are many ways to value assets, including Fair Market Value, Fair Value, Book Value, and Liquidation Value.
Female investors are relatively familiar with this valuation method, and I would like to remind you of a few key valuation elements:
a. Liquidity Discount
For the assets a man possesses, detailed analysis is required. For example, if he holds a large number of restricted assets, such as restricted trading stocks, they should be multiplied by the corresponding discount coefficient.
For example, if a man holds equity in a company worth 20 million yuan but cannot trade, and the average discount coefficient for restricted trading stocks is 33%, then the actual value of that part of the asset for the man is 20 million * 0.33 = 6.6 million yuan.

IV. The Art of Investment

1. Valuation and Negotiation Chips

A) Self-Assessment.

B) Empathy

C) Negotiation Rhythm

D) Negotiation Skills

2. Shareholding Ratio and Dividends

3. Buyback Clauses

4. Exclusivity

What Valuation Method to Use When Choosing a Husband?#

In broad terms, women can be divided into three main investment models.

The vast majority of women belong to relatively mature VC investors, whose investment targets are men with basic profitability and high growth potential. Such men are in a development phase in their life cycle, with broad prospects and currently undervalued.
Of course, there are some women who act as angel investors, willing to choose a man who is poor and has no future, but successful cases are rare (a classic success story is Zhuo Wenjun investing in Lin Xiangru over 2000 years ago).
There are also a small number of women who focus only on premium blue-chip stocks, i.e., men with peak profitability, such as wealthy heirs and top billionaires. Most of these investors possess extreme capital (e.g., stunning beauties, movie stars, beauty pageant winners), but competition among investors is fierce and bloody, and most end up with nothing, even if successful, they cannot hold controlling shares.

II. Valuation of Men

Valuation is the cornerstone of investment success. Here are a few basic valuation methods for the vast majority of female investors to reference:

Price-to-Earnings Ratio Valuation
Current value valuation must be combined with the concept of price-to-earnings ratio. The price-to-earnings ratio is the ratio of a man's market price to his earnings:
Price-to-Earnings Ratio = Market Price / Earnings
For example, if other female investors are willing to pay a total discounted price of 1 million yuan for a man whose EBITDA (Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation, and Amortization) is 100,000 yuan this year, then the man's price-to-earnings ratio is 10 times.
Valuation logic: Refer to the industry average price-to-earnings ratio. That is, see how many times other female investors are willing to pay for men with similar professions and incomes. If the average is greater than 10, the man is undervalued; if less than 10, he is overvalued.
Note: If the man is particularly handsome, humorous, considerate, artistic, or cultured, a certain premium can be added to the price-to-earnings ratio. It is generally not advisable to overprice, as these factors are too subjective and difficult to quantify and sustain.
Value + Growth Valuation Formula
A man with enormous investment value must be a combination of value and growth, and combining the two valuation methods avoids the static nature of price-to-earnings ratio valuation. A very simple formula is as follows:
(Value + Growth within One Year) / 2 = Current Value
Expanded to:
(Current Year Performance × Price-to-Earnings Ratio + Next Year Projected Performance × Price-to-Earnings Ratio) / 2 = Current Value
For example, if a man's income in 2007 was 100,000 yuan, and the projected income for 2008 is 120,000 yuan, and the industry average price-to-earnings ratio is 15 times, if he is very handsome, humorous, gentle, and considerate, we can estimate a higher ratio of 3-5 times, calculating at 20 times:
(100,000 × 20 + 120,000 × 20) / 2 = 2.2 million yuan.
Then look at his market price; if other women are only willing to invest 1 million yuan in resources to acquire him, you are practically picking up money on the street, decisively investing 1.2 million yuan and not shorting; within the fluctuation adjustment range of 1.2-1.8 million yuan, you should maintain a flirtatious relationship; if it exceeds 2 million yuan, you should sell, and do not consider future growth; if you offer a high price, you will be trapped.

Yield Rate Valuation Method
This valuation method is also known as the "Comparable Coefficient" method, which simply applies some standard coefficients to determine a man's value. The basic theoretical foundation of this valuation is that a man's income will not all be used on women; the reasonable returns that women can enjoy are more meaningful to female investors.
First, how to define a man's income is crucial. There are currently various definitions, including: Free Cash Flow EBITDA, Earnings Before Interest and Taxes (EBIT), After-Tax Earnings (EAT), and Earnings After Interest, Taxes, Depreciation, and Amortization (EAITDA). To avoid valuation bias for female investors, it is recommended to use EAITAD, which stands for Earning after interest, tax, depreciation, and amortization.
Yield Rate = Actual Payment Yield / EAITAD
For example, if a man's annual income after paying credit card interest, car and housing loan interest, taxes, supporting parents and siblings, giving gifts to leaders, smoking, drinking, and entertaining, as well as depreciation of previously purchased durable consumer goods, is 20,000 yuan, and the money spent on you this year (including meals, gifts, travel, dates, hotel rooms, etc.) is 15,000 yuan, then:
Yield Capitalization Rate = 15,000 / 20,000 = 0.75
If your yield rate with your previous boyfriend was 0.5, then this man is valued higher; if the industry average yield rate (similar to your female investors' yield) is between 0.1-0.3, then this man is rated as a buy; if the average yield rate is above 0.8, then this man is rated as a sell.
Asset-Based Valuation Method
Asset valuation is currently quite popular, that is, valuing a man based on the value of his existing assets. There are many ways to value assets, including Fair Market Value, Fair Value, Book Value, and Liquidation Value.
Female investors are relatively familiar with this valuation method, and I would like to remind you of a few key valuation elements:
a. Liquidity Discount
For the assets a man possesses, detailed analysis is required. For example, if he holds a large number of restricted assets, such as restricted trading stocks, they should be multiplied by the corresponding discount coefficient.
For example, if a man holds equity in a company worth 20 million yuan but cannot trade, and the average discount coefficient for restricted trading stocks is 33%, then the actual value of that part of the asset for the man is 20 million * 0.33 = 6.6 million yuan.

IV. The Art of Investment

1. Valuation and Negotiation Chips

A) Self-Assessment.

B) Empathy

C) Negotiation Rhythm

D) Negotiation Skills

2. Shareholding Ratio and Dividends

3. Buyback Clauses

4. Exclusivity

What Valuation Method to Use When Choosing a Husband?#

In broad terms, women can be divided into three main investment models.

The vast majority of women belong to relatively mature VC investors, whose investment targets are men with basic profitability and high growth potential. Such men are in a development phase in their life cycle, with broad prospects and currently undervalued.
Of course, there are some women who act as angel investors, willing to choose a man who is poor and has no future, but successful cases are rare (a classic success story is Zhuo Wenjun investing in Lin Xiangru over 2000 years ago).
There are also a small number of women who focus only on premium blue-chip stocks, i.e., men with peak profitability, such as wealthy heirs and top billionaires. Most of these investors possess extreme capital (e.g., stunning beauties, movie stars, beauty pageant winners), but competition among investors is fierce and bloody, and most end up with nothing, even if successful, they cannot hold controlling shares.

II. Valuation of Men

Valuation is the cornerstone of investment success. Here are a few basic valuation methods for the vast majority of female investors to reference:

Price-to-Earnings Ratio Valuation
Current value valuation must be combined with the concept of price-to-earnings ratio. The price-to-earnings ratio is the ratio of a man's market price to his earnings:
Price-to-Earnings Ratio = Market Price / Earnings
For example, if other female investors are willing to pay a total discounted price of 1 million yuan for a man whose EBITDA (Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation, and Amortization) is 100,000 yuan this year, then the man's price-to-earnings ratio is 10 times.
Valuation logic: Refer to the industry average price-to-earnings ratio. That is, see how many times other female investors are willing to pay for men with similar professions and incomes. If the average is greater than 10, the man is undervalued; if less than 10, he is overvalued.
Note: If the man is particularly handsome, humorous, considerate, artistic, or cultured, a certain premium can be added to the price-to-earnings ratio. It is generally not advisable to overprice, as these factors are too subjective and difficult to quantify and sustain.
Value + Growth Valuation Formula
A man with enormous investment value must be a combination of value and growth, and combining the two valuation methods avoids the static nature of price-to-earnings ratio valuation. A very simple formula is as follows:
(Value + Growth within One Year) / 2 = Current Value
Expanded to:
(Current Year Performance × Price-to-Earnings Ratio + Next Year Projected Performance × Price-to-Earnings Ratio) / 2 = Current Value
For example, if a man's income in 2007 was 100,000 yuan, and the projected income for 2008 is 120,000 yuan, and the industry average price-to-earnings ratio is 15 times, if he is very handsome, humorous, gentle, and considerate, we can estimate a higher ratio of 3-5 times, calculating at 20 times:
(100,000 × 20 + 120,000 × 20) / 2 = 2.2 million yuan.
Then look at his market price; if other women are only willing to invest 1 million yuan in resources to acquire him, you are practically picking up money on the street, decisively investing 1.2 million yuan and not shorting; within the fluctuation adjustment range of 1.2-1.8 million yuan, you should maintain a flirtatious relationship; if it exceeds 2 million yuan, you should sell, and do not consider future growth; if you offer a high price, you will be trapped.